advice

You know, this happens a lot. That, after a person becomes sexually active, or does a given new sexual thing, they’ll notice what appear to be changes with their body. But when it all gets sorted out, it pretty much always turns out that there wasn’t anything different. In other words, that your…

First things first: when something hurts, that really is your body’s way of telling you that IT wants whatever it is to STOP. So, next time? If it hurts? Press pause. Manual sex really shouldn’t hurt – nor should it just be something one gets used to: sex should feel GOOD – and if it did hurt a…

Plenty! Without more information than that, it’s hard for me to know what’s been part of your sexual activity. For instance, if by sexually active, you just mean with partners – for any activity – then I’d suggest going back to your own drawing board, with your own two hands, and finding out about…

You know, what “sex” even IS differs for everyone. There are a world of sexual activities out there – oral sex, manual sex, intercourse, anal play, role play, frottage, the works – and how each person does them isn’t only different from person to person, but from partnership to partnership, and…

Any way you do it, however you define it. In other words, what “sex” even IS varies pretty widely from person-to-person and day-to-day, and can be or include ANY number of sexual activities. Intercourse is sex, but so is oral sex, anal sex, manual sex, making out, frottage, role play, cybersex…

You know, “slut” is both a really subjective and often a really derogatory term. A lot of people use it out of spite, because they’re afraid of sexuality (or, more accurately, women’s or queer sexuality), and because they’re afraid of people who enjoy it, and on some level, perhaps, secretly jealous…

Scarleteen is about the realities of teen sexuality: One of the main reasons young adults come back to Scarleteen again and again is that they report it to be one of the few places they know they can come with real questions, and not be faced with judgment for having an age-appropriate sexual life…

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The next morning I got up early and we started talking again. It was too early for me to be awake and I was battling severe cramps, among other things, so I fell back asleep. This is where my so-called friend and ex boyfriend decided he was going to explore the female body: mine. Looking back at this, I can only feel anger: at him for being so “curious”, and at myself for letting it happen. I have heard so many “It’s not your fault’s,” that I am honestly ready to puke. It’s ironic I guess. I can see how the victim is not at fault in other sexual assault/abuse situations, but I still refuse to see it in my own.

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