Sexual Identity

I don’t think it’s very realistic to expect most of us to feel the exact same way, or “equally,” about all men, all women or all people whose gender is outside of that binary. I’m not even sure, I have to say, what feeling “equally” about people, period, would be. People are so radically different…

(pagangirl’s question continued) To me, my boyfriend had been the perfect picture of masculinity–what I wanted in a man. After this revelation, I feel an aversion to him. I see him differently, and more than anything, I can’t get the thought that he’s gay out of my mind. I know I should be more…

If I only had a dollar (heck, even a quarter) for every time a young person wrote into Scarleteen to ask us if we think they might be [fill in a sexual orientation here], I’d be pretty freakin’ wealthy. This is in no way to make light of your question to us, more just to let you know that this is…

Some of what you’re describing is what plenty of people who identify as asexual describe. Many asexual people report that it’s not a matter for them of not having sexual feelings, but instead, a matter of lacking any motivation to pursue those feelings actively with sexual partners, and also for…

I hear you that this is a tough situation to be in, turbo! It certainly may seem like the reverse of what most people face when they are questioning their sexual orientation. However, I assure you that it is actually much more common than one might think. For all the great resources there are about…

Our sexual orientation is about who we do feel attracted to, sexually and emotionally. It’s not about who we’re not frustrated with, who we are not attracted to, who might make do or what someone else’s orientation is. The organization Avert does a really nice job of laying out what sexual…

The only person who needs to be convinced they are gay, bisexual, lesbian, heterosexual or any other kind of orientation is that person. We don’t need to convince others of what our orientation is or prove our orientation to anyone. That girl you know doesn’t need to convince you she’s gay, nor…

Do you think you or your friends are too young to know if you’re straight? Hint: there’s actually no right answer to that one. If you say yes, people at 14 can know they’re heterosexual, then it only makes sense to posit that if a person can know they are one orientation at that age, they can know…

The next thing to do after a family member says that to you is simply to acknowledge what they have disclosed and honor that it can be scary to do that – such as by saying something like, “I’m glad you felt safe telling me about your bisexuality.” You can also reassure them that until they’re ready…

Any kind of sex between people of the same gender is as normal as sex between people of different genders as far as I am concerned. In other words, it is normal – and has always been relatively common – for people of all genders and stripes to have sexual intimacy or to explore sexuality together…