Readiness

Travis, it sounds like you do already seem to have a pretty good idea of what her concerns are, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job in trying to be sure that whatever you do is something you both can feel good about. In other words, I think you need my help less than you probably think that…

Your girlfriend is being VERY sensible, whether you may happen to believe it or not. People with vaginas have a LOT at stake when they become sexually active. They are more prone to infections than people with penises. And yes, they can get pregnant, which is a very taxing process for her body…

Readiness for sex isn’t something that only happens once, or happens once at a certain age. It can be normal at any age, in any situation, for any person not to feel ready for any kind of sex with a partner. When we’re first ready is going to vary a lot from person to person, based on our life…

When someone asks me a sex readiness question, one of the big things I look for is that the onset of sex in a relationship is about more than one person mostly or solely initiating. In other words, I hear you telling me that he says you can stop if you want to, and that tells me he’s probably the…

Not having sex shouldn’t cause anyone to have a nervous breakdown. And if you feel like your mental health hinges on being sexually active with a partner, that’s not a good thing – or healthy for you or a relationship – and something you’d want to address with a mental health professional. Mind…

Before I say anything else, just know that you get to feel whatever you feel, and that there isn’t anything wrong with either not feeling ready for – or just plain old not wanting – any given sexual activity. Anything I say from here on out is not intended to influence you to make any one choice…

(Eoin’s questions continued…) 1) Abstinence-until-marriage is not superior (this will also come up later with respect to “the parents” and other concerns with my girlfriend); is it such a big deal if I have sex with my girlfriend tomorrow, in a couple months, or several years from now, including…

There is no way that any sexual partner of yours would be able to tell that you’ve had sex before unless you tell them. Here’s the thing though; even strictly sexual relationships require honesty. You need to be honest about your sexual history because when you’re involved in a sexual relationship…

No one should have to do anything sexually that doesn’t feel natural and right for them in order to keep a partner. And if your partnership really hinges on being ” a freak” in bed, or behaving in a way your boyfriend wants, but just isn’t really you or about you, you really, truly are better off…

Withdrawal is NOT an effective birth control method: just ask my parents, and their parents, and…you get the picture. I also have a fantastic nephew who I adore, both of whose parents swear (and have no reason to lie, really) that they practiced withdrawal PERFECTLY. Apparently not. That’s the…