Readiness

There’s no sense in being anything but frank. Sex does tend to change things. It can bring about or illuminate changes in the relationships it occurs within, changes in our other relationships, and changes in ourselves. Often, we have to add some factors to our lives we may not have had to before…

Unfortunately, some women don’t know or understand when they’re carrying around double-standards when it comes to being ready for sex. You’re not the first guy to ask this question or be in this situation. Just like it is for women, guys are not somehow automatically ready for sex any time their…

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and…

If your boyfriend hasn’t initiated anything sexually, and he gets upset when you talk about it, then it’s pretty clear your boyfriend isn’t feeling ready for any kind of sex yet and you need to respect that. You can certainly talk to him about this – making clear that you have no interest in…

I’d say that one big part of being ready to have sex with a partner is either having some measure of trust in them or being okay with big risks of things like someone telling other people intimate things if you don’t have that trust. But most of the time, most people are going to want to go with the…

Lisa, I can’t implore you enough not to take this personally and not to think about this as you being inadequate. You’re not inadequate: you two just wanted different things. Our needs and wants and someone else’s needs and wants are just not always going to mesh, even when one or both of us really…

You just answered your own question. You don’t need me at all! :) If you don’t think you can handle a sex life right now, and you don’t feel like sex outside of a certain context – which you are not currently in or don’t have the opportunity to be in – fits with what you believe or is going to be…

I’m going to break your question down some so we can be sure to touch on everything here. First, let’s talk a bit about readiness. Readiness for any type of sex happens for people at different ages, different points in the relationship, and even in some relationships and not others. One person may…

I remember a few years back when a close friend and I decided that we were going to try bungee jumping. I was petrified the entire time that I was being strapped into the gear and in the end decided that I simply couldn’t do it. As I stepped down from the ledge with my friend my body was shaking and…

The first thing I’d ask you is if you – and your boyfriend – feel too young to possibly be someone’s parent. I ask that, because one huge risk with unprotected sex is pregnancy. Statistically, in less than one year, 80-90% of people (and remember, too, teens are often far more fertile than us…