Question
I' m 19 and have never had full penetrative sex. However I have fooled around with a boy two days ago. We didn't have sex but we were quite close to doing so and now I'm very worried about the possibility of being pregnant. I was due on my period a week ago and I still haven't come on. Is it possible to get pregnant without actually having sex? We were both naked and pleasuring each other in other means and he wasn't wearing a condom.
It’s tough for me to give you a solid answer on this one, because you weren’t very clear on what you were actually doing.
Sometimes, when a person says they haven’t had “full” intercourse (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) , or “full” penetration, they mean they haven’t had whatever their idea of that is. In other words, a person who says that may have had an inch of a penis (penis: One of the two external reproductive organs of people often assigned male at birth.) inside them, but not five inches, or had intercourse without orgasm (orgasm: An event typically in response to physical or intellectual sexual stimulation, controlled by the involuntary nervous system. ) , or HAD intercourse, but didn’t experience the pain or feelings they expected to feel. What a given person considers “actually” having sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) varies an awful lot.
So, here’s the scoop: if two people of the opposite sex have direct genital contact – as in, your vulva (vulva: The name for the external genitals of people assigned female at birth. The vulva includes the mons, external clitoris, inner and outer labia, fourchette and perineum.) or anus (anus: The external opening to the rectum, located between the buttocks.) , his penis – without using a condom (condom: A thin sheath or tube of latex or another material, worn over the penis during sex to prevent or reduce the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections.) or another reliable method of birth control (birth control: Any number of methods people use to intentionally prevent unwanted pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) , then risks of STIs exist and risks of pregnancy (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) may exist. So, if in your being naked and pleasuring one another, his penis did have direct contact with our genitals (genitals: Body parts that are generally, culturally, scientifically or personally considered to be external sexual or reproductive organs.) , unprotected, then yes, you may have had a pregnancy risk. There is a smaller risk of pregnancy when, say, a penis is rubbed on the labia (labia: On the vulva, both inner (labia minora) and outer (labia majora) sets of skin with sensory nerve endings which surround the vaginal opening.) or vaginal opening (vaginal opening: The external opening to the vagina.) than when the penis has fully entered the vagina (vagina: The internal passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus.) and remined inside through an act of intercourse, but both scenarios present that risk: it just varies by degree (and varies further based on how fertile a given woman was at the time of the risk). If this is the case, since your period (period: The fluid – or flow – which contains blood, from the shedding of the uterine lining usually at the end of each menstrual cycle. Sometimes periods may be less fluid and more globby; this is the state that is often mistaken for blood clotting.) is late, I’d suggest going ahead and taking a home pregnancy test (pregnancy test: What we tell you to take when you ask us if you’re pregnant. A test that can be done at home or by a healthcare provider to determine pregnancy. Usually a urine test, a pregnancy test measures for a specific hormone, hCG, only produced with pregnancy.) . I’d also suggest you both schedule a screening for sexually transmitted infections (sexually transmitted infections: STIs: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.) a month from now, to cover that base as well.
For the future, if you’re going to be in close physical contact, having any sort of sex, then you’re going to need to be talking about safer sex (safer sex: Practices which aim to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as use of latex/nonlatex barriers, regular testing for infections and limiting the number of sexual partners.) and birth control with your partners, preferably in adavnce of any sexual (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) activity. And if you’re going to have genital contact, then you’re going to need to start protecting yourself accordingly, and choosing partners who gladly work with you to do that: biology doesn’t care what any of us call a given kind of sex, or if we define it as “real” or “full” sex or not.
If we’re having direct genital contact with someone, these risks exist.
Here are a few links to help round this all out (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) for you, and fill you in on when you need to be using safer sex and birth control, and when you don’t:
