ANY direct genital contact that is unprotected ALWAYS puts you at a potential risk of
pregnancy
(pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.)
(when your
partner
(partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term "partner" can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. "Partner" can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.)
has the
genitals
(genitals: Body parts that are generally, culturally, scientifically or personally considered to be external sexual or reproductive organs.)
that could co-create one) and
sexually transmitted infections
(sexually transmitted infections: STIs: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.)
.
The
vulva
(vulva: The name for the external genitals of people assigned female at birth. The vulva includes the mons, external clitoris, inner and outer labia, fourchette and perineum.)
is a wet place, and
sexual
(sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.)
fluids like ejaculate and
pre-ejaculate
(pre-ejaculate: A fluid which the penis usually emits with or around erection and before ejaculation, sometimes more than once. Pre-ejaculate itself does not contain sperm, but in some cases, can pick up traces of sperm left in the urethra.)
are also just that, fluid. What
sperm
(sperm: Reproductive cells of people with penises which can fertilize an ovum and create pregnancy.)
need to move in, so they can get to your
uterus
(uterus: An internal, muscular reproductive organ in the pelvis. During pregnancy, this is where a fetus will develop. The lining of a person’s uterus is also the thing that sheds every menstrual cycle in what we call a period.)
, is a sexual fluid. So, when your partner rubs his
penis
(penis: One of the two external reproductive organs of people often assigned male at birth.)
on your vulva -- not just inserts it into your
vagina
(vagina: The internal passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus.)
-- if he either has any
semen
(semen: Fluid which comes from the urethra of the penis during ejaculation, and which usually contains sperm.)
(the fluid which contains sperm) on his penis, or emits any sexual fluid (potentially including pre-ejaculate, which neither of you is likely to feel), then sperm have the capacity to slide down or around parts of your vulva to get inside your vagina.
Does that kind of contact create as substantial a pregnancy risk as
vaginal intercourse
(vaginal intercourse: When a penis or sex toy is inserted into and held by the vagina while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of either sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.)
? Not usually, no. But it still presents a risk, and how big that risk is has more to do with your
fertility
(fertility: The ability to become pregnant or other things having to do with becoming pregnant (eg, “the fertility clinic”).)
cycle than with how close to the
vaginal opening
(vaginal opening: The external opening to the vagina.)
a partner's penis was placed.
And with sexually transmitted infections, the same goes per any
infection
(infection: When harmful microbes, or germs, or harmful levels of microbes/germs, enter the body and multiply, causing illness. The common cold, flu viruses, sexually transmitted infections, chickenpox, impetigo, rabies and diphtheria are some kinds of infections.)
that fluid may carry, as well as with infections that don't even need fluids to be transmitted, like genital
Herpes
(Herpes: A viral disease caused by both or either herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and/or type 2 (HSV-2).)
or
HPV
(HPV: Human papillomavirus, a very common sexually transmitted infection with more than 40 HPV types.)
.
Since you have both a late
period
(period: The fluid – or flow – which contains blood, from the shedding of the uterine lining usually at the end of each menstrual cycle. Sometimes periods may be less fluid and more globby; this is the state that is often mistaken for blood clotting.)
and are also noticing unusual
discharge
(discharge: In the context of sex and sexual health, any number of fluids which come from the genitals. Plenty of genital discharge is healthy, while some discharges can be symptoms of illness.)
, the best thing for you to do would be to get both a
pregnancy test
(pregnancy test: What we tell you to take when you ask us if you're pregnant. A test that can be done at home or by a healthcare provider to determine pregnancy. Usually a urine test, a pregnancy test measures for a specific hormone, hCG, only produced with pregnancy.)
and a full
STI
(STI: Sexually transmitted infections: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.)
screening. Since you and your partner have had unprotected genital contact, he should be having those screenings as well. What you don't want to do is wait around for "signs" of pregnancy or an STI. With pregnancy, sparing a missed period, most symptoms don't happen very early on, and if you are pregnant, you'll always want to know as soon as possible so that you have the time you need to make whatever choice you'd want to about whether or not to continue or terminate that pregnancy. With STIs, most don't show obvious symptoms, so you never want to wait for those to get screened: all
sexually active
(sexually active: Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.)
people -- even those who are NOT having unprotected genital contact -- need those screenings every year, symptoms or not.
And from here on
out
(out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.)
, you want to be sure that if you do not wish to become pregnant, you are not having direct genital or fluid contact without always using a reliable method of
birth control
(birth control: Any number of methods people use to intentionally prevent unwanted pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.)
, like condoms or a hormonal method like the birth control pill. In terms of sexually transmitted infections, before having unprotected contact, the only way any two partners can reliably reduce risks is to start with one full STI screening for both, then both be
monogamous
(monogamous: In the context of sex, people choosing to be with each other sexually exclusively; to only have one sexual partner at a time.)
for six months, use latex barriers for genital contact for that whole six months, then have one more full screening each -- with negative results -- before going without those barriers.
Here are some more links to help you and your boyfriend out:
