Partnered Sex

The same way anyone else does. Which is to say, any vast number of different ways. Sex isn’t just vaginal intercourse. Sex is any number of combinations of things people of all stripes do together to seek mutual sexual pleasure, and what those things or that combination are varies for everyone, even…

My boyfriend says that anal sex is no different than regular sex. Is that true? He also says we don’t have to use a condom? Also, will I still be a virgin if I have anal sex? Will it hurt as much?

Many people engage in oral sex, and find it a pleasurable of sexual activity. So long as you engage in it responsibly, it’s just as normal, healthy, safe and natural as any other kind of genital sex. Here are the answers to some of your most common questions – no secrets, no flashing lights and sirens, just the lowdown on going down.

At least once every couple of days, someone posts or writes into Scarleteen reporting that vaginal entry – usually intercourse or manual vaginal sex, and usually (but not always) with cisgender male partners – is painful, uncomfortable, or unfulfilling for them. Whatever sort of vaginal entry we’re talking about – with fingers, a penis or a dildo, with partners of any gender – not only doesn’t have to be painful, it really shouldn’t be. More than that, any kind of sex shouldn’t be about a lack of pain, but about the presence of pleasure.

There’s a reason for taking things slowly, for putting off intercourse, or taking it away from center stage that often gets overlooked. I’m not talking about slowing things down for religious or moral ideals or social pressures. Not slowing things down to prevent STIs and pregnancy. Not even slowing things down for legal reasons or because of your age. I’m not talking about Just Say No, and I’m not talking about not having sex at all. I’m talking about PLEASURE.

A candid memoir of first-time intercourse from the founder of Scarleteen.

Thinking about partnered sex? Do yourself a favor and look through our checklist to get a good idea about the readiness of you and your partner – it’s more complicated and demanding than many people think, and knowing what you need to get ready can help assure that your sexual experiences with a partner will be as great for both of you as possible.