Leaving & Recovering

Intellectually, I understand that success and safety do not invalidate struggle. I understand that I will feel the impacts of sexual violence regardless of how well I do in school or how much better life gets for me. But because a majority of people in my life only see the “successful” parts and not the difficult parts, and because so often people’s expectations of survivors stand counter to this, many people find it harder to believe that I’ve even experienced sexual violence. And that can make it harder for me and other survivors to emotionally feel and believe what we intellectually understand: our success does not invalidate our struggle.

“No part of human culture exists without humans creating it and you literally have the power to do that.”

Hey there, lost. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that abuse, but I’m very glad you survived it, and have started to be able to look towards healthy, wanted intimacy in your future. Let’s see if I can help get you started. First, I want to alleviate a fear that could get in your way. You don…

I wish I could find out who is spreading the idea that thinking about sex often, masturbating fruequently, or using sexual media indicates someone is on a path towards “sex addiction.” You’re far from the first person to ask about it in our direct services. I’d like to have some harsh words with…

Stealthing does not just happen surreptitiously, swiftly, or without the total awareness of the victim.

When my assault happened, I was stunted in my sexual exploration, and I had no choice but to start anew.

Reclaiming your sexuality after sexual abuse can be complicated. Your previous partner has left you with a whole mess of shame and trauma. None of this is your fault, he is the one who chose to hurt and manipulate you, I’m sorry that you had to go through that and are now facing the work of picking…

First off, I want to say that it takes an incredible amount of strength to have gone through (and continue to go through) what you have and survive. You’ve managed to grown and thrive in spite of other people doing awful things to you. That’s not nothing. And that strength is going to come in handy…

If you live in abuse, or the person in your life who is abusive checks your phone or computer, be sure after you read pages like these to clear your history. It’s safest for you that anyone abusing you does not know you are reading up on abuse or planning to leave. Click here to leave this page fast…

If you are leaving the person or people abusing you, your safety is the most important thing.