Leaving & Recovering

Hey there, lost. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that abuse, but I’m very glad you survived it, and have started to be able to look towards healthy, wanted intimacy in your future. Let’s see if I can help get you started. First, I want to alleviate a fear that could get in your way. You don…

I wish I could find out who is spreading the idea that thinking about sex often, masturbating fruequently, or using sexual media indicates someone is on a path towards “sex addiction.” You’re far from the first person to ask about it in our direct services. I’d like to have some harsh words with…

The term itself is insufficient and sounds oddly trivial. The word ‘stealth’ has various associations in the Oxford English Dictionary (2020), including ‘secretly and without right or permission’, ‘clandestinely’, ‘furtive’. A stealth action happens quickly and slyly, like the swiping of an appetising sweet by a small child before their parent sees. But stealthing does not just happen surreptitiously, swiftly, or without the total awareness of the victim.

When my assault happened, I was stunted in my sexual exploration, and I had no choice but to start anew. I’ve learned it will always be an ongoing battle for me, but a possible feat. Scarleteen readers confronting a comparable situation should know there’s hope for you too. Reclaiming our right to pleasure combats apathy by demonstrating our capacity to enjoy again. While we can’t reverse rape, recovery begins when we remember we have alternatives.

Reclaiming your sexuality after sexual abuse can be complicated. Your previous partner has left you with a whole mess of shame and trauma. None of this is your fault, he is the one who chose to hurt and manipulate you, I’m sorry that you had to go through that and are now facing the work of picking…

First off, I want to say that it takes an incredible amount of strength to have gone through (and continue to go through) what you have and survive. You’ve managed to grown and thrive in spite of other people doing awful things to you. That’s not nothing. And that strength is going to come in handy…

If you live in abuse, or the person in your life who is abusive checks your phone or computer, be sure after you read pages like these to clear your history. It’s safest for you that anyone abusing you does not know you are reading up on abuse or planning to leave. To click out of this page to…

If you live in abuse, or the person in your life who is abusive checks your phone or computer, be sure after you read pages like these to clear your history. It’s safest for you that anyone abusing you does not know you are reading up on abuse or planning to leave. To click out of this page to…

If you’re in an abusive relationship, to make abuse stop you’ve got to get away and stay away. Here’s help to do that safely, and to be as safe as you can before leaving.

There are a few things you mentioned here that I suspect you wanted to have addressed in depth, but I think it’s really important that for right now, I do what I can to help you with what seems the most critical. I think it’s crucial you get some help as quickly as you can, and I don’t want my words…