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Questions and Answers

Why does my boyfriend watch transsexual porn?

Anonymous asks:

I am so confused about why my boyfriend is looking at shemale porn. It has torn my heart out and has caused us to split. I cannot stomach the thought of touching him thinking that he may be gay or bi. I have gone over and over in my mind about what this infatuation is. I am wondering also if it could be a fetish because he was born with one testicle and feels like a freak himself? I am sick over this.

Is it possible my Chlamydia was not fully treated three years ago?

bri_t03 asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we have 2 children together. When I found out I was pregnant with our first child I also found out I had Chlamydia. I got treated and so did he. Just last week I got my yearly check up and I have Chlamydia again! I have been completely faithful to my boyfriend and he said he has been completely faithful to me. I do believe him! Is it possible either my boyfriend or I was not fully treated three years ago? How could I have gotten infected again?

How do I know my pill is working?

Anonymous asks:

Hi. I've actually never had intercourse before, but my gynecologist suggested that I begin taking birth control pills about 2 months before my wedding date to make sure that everything is on the up and up with them (& that I wouldn't have any adverse reactions to them). So far I've been taking them around the same time (anywhere between 6:00 and 6:45am) for about 5 and a half weeks and I've noticed no real side effects or anything. The first 3 days I had a headache, but that's about it. The wedding is in 24 days. How do I know that these birth control pills are actually working inside of me? I guess I'm kinda nervous, and was wondering if there are any for sure ways to tell that the pills are running their course? Thank you.

Depression has sapped my libido: will it ruin my relationship?

Emma asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two and a half years. We used to have sex a lot (meaning a couple times a week and seeing as we could only see each other on the weekends, that wasn't too shabby). However, I've been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety problems that have been making it hard for me to feel like having sex. This has been going on for a couple months and in that time we've had sex twice. I miss being with him and I know he misses it too. I don't want this to tear us apart. He's been there for me through all of these mental health problems and is definitely there for me during this rough sexual patch but I want that old spark back. What should I do?

Am I too young to think I'm gay?

Anonymous asks:

I've only just turned 14. Am I too young to think I might be gay? Or is it just hormones playing with my emotions? If I am really gay, is it bad or stupid cause I'm so young?

In the shadow of my sister.

Laura asks:

I feel like I'm always in my sisters shadow, and it's driving me nuts! I'm really happy the way I am, and I wouldn't change it, but whenever I'm around people I know, and she's there, I'm always second best. When I mean "people I know" it goes down to friends, boys, everyone who we're acquainted with! I know VERY well that I don't need a boy, but it feels nice to have attention sometimes. Maybe it's because me and my sister are very close in everything we do.

My sister also is a very thin individual, and weighs less than me, even if she is older and taller. I sometimes feel some pressure from her and my friends because I am more careful of what I eat. I am very curvy (it's my body type), and the rest of the people I know are very thin. Their constant nagging drives me crazy, and beside them I feel like a big lumbering pig, even if I am the average weight for an adult my height. I am very happy with my weight and body/breast size, but this is really getting annoying. Thanks for listening.

How can I stop being afraid to touch him because I don't know what the heck I'm doing?

jediskye asks:

Hi, I am 19 years old, and I've been with my boyfriend for about two months now. He's my first proper relationship and I was also a virgin before I had sex with him. My problem is that I am too shy to initiate sex, and I am almost at the point of tearing my hair out because I am getting so frustrated about it. I am comfortable around him, and I love having sex with him, but I just can't bring myself to touch him, every time I'm about to touch him there I stop and wonder whether he'll enjoy it.

He is way more experienced than me, and I have never stroked a guy's penis before or given them a blowjob. I just don't want him to feel nothing when I'm touching him. Is there any way I can overcome this? And could you give me some tips on how I could turn him on without feeling like an idiot?

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

My best friend was raped: what can I do for her?

Suze asks:

First off, thank you for this site. It's wonderful. Now, I'm a just-graduated senior, and my best friend went with a big group to Florida for their senior trip. She called me wasted and crying, upset and saying that this guy I'll call E wanted to have sex with her, she told him no, and he did it anyway. His side of the story was that she didn't protest. Sounds like rape, right? But she's known for teasing guys, and people might not believe her. And they liked each other a while back--E never displayed any signs of being likely to take advantage of someone.

I have no idea how to handle this situation because there's so much gray area. How can I help my best friend?

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

He only wants sex with me after watching pornography.

Maggie asks:

My question is my husband watches other girls get off on cam. I don't like it and he has been told but he still does it. He doesn't seem interested in me until after he has watched them. He pays no attention to me and when he is in the mood it's like after he's watched the other girls and I feel like I have to give it to him because I feel I have to. I guess it's fear of him going out and getting it from someone in person rather then me but I am tired of feeling like I have to and I'm tired of being put on the back burner. I need help as to what to do or how to deal with this.

Breastfeeding questions

Curious Female asks:

My boyfriend's sister and I are pretty good friends, so we're pretty open with each other. She has a four year old daughter and a one year old baby that she is breastfeeding. I have a few questions about that. 1) She said she doesn't get her period because she's breastfeeding. Why is that? 2) Are her nipples ever going to be normal again? I know that when a woman breastfeeds the nipples tend to look like bottle tips. 3) Should she have stopped breastfeeding her baby by now? He's almost 13 months. Thanks for reading!

How do you know you've had an orgasm?

Abi asks:

This is going to sound stupid but I have a question and its simply this: how do you know when you've orgasmed? I had my first time to other night with a guy I love very much but when he asked me if I came I didn't know. I have no experience at sex at all.

Can you tell me about inverted nipples?

Amanda asks:

I just stumbled onto this site and have found it really informative. But I was surprised to see that, while many people have posted their body image concerns, no one seems to have brought up inverted nipples. I have always felt self conscious about my nipples because they're inverted. Although my boyfriend loves me very much and I doubt he would care, I still have this fear inside that they don't live up to every male fantasy of boobs and what they're supposed to be, so I don't want him to see them. I would hate if he was disappointed by part of me. I am wondering if it is very common to have inverted nipples, and also if males find it unattractive. I know that there is surgery to change this, but I don't know if it is very healthy or a good idea, and I would rather let that be my last resort. I used to think maybe it would change during puberty, but I am 17 so I'm figuring that it won't be something I grow out of at this point. So, I guess what I'm asking is, can you tell me about inverted nipples?

Older boyfriend wants to add a second male partner: what do I do?

Anonymous asks:

I am 14 years old and my boyfriend is 18. We have not had vaginal intercourse yet but we have anal sex regularly. Recently he has told me that he wants to add another partner into our anal sex. I said that I was fine with it (assuming that he wanted another woman to join) but then he told me he wanted a man. I'm sort of uncomfortable about it. Does this mean he is gay? What should I tell him?

Myths or Facts: Not Having Sex Being Unhealthy?

Marina asks:

I'm a 19-year-old (soon to be 20) female virgin. I haven't really had any sexual experience so far, and it doesn't look like I will in the near future. So the question is: is it true that loosing your virginity gets more painful with age? I was told that having first time when you are in your twenties is a lot more painful than when you're a teenager. From what I read about hymen on this site I assume this is wrong, because hymen tends to wear away with time, not get sturdier, but I would like to make sure if it really is just one of those popular myths. What I've also been told is that not having sexual life is somewhat harmful for your health after you reach a certain age. Like, a girl can start having female disorders when she doesn't have regular sexual intercourse in her 20s. I even heard a story about how doctor told a 23-year-old girl to get a lover to get rid of gynecological problems she's been having. This seems more likely to be true. And does it mean that vaginal sex is really essential or is clitoral stimulation, for instance, enough to keep you healthy?

Am I infertile because my mother was?

Anonymous asks:

I'm 15 years old, going on 16 and I've been told my whole life by my Mom that I'm not supposed to have kids. I mean, in terms that I'm not able to. She was supposed to infertile (they were married for two years before me and there hasn't been anything since) and she's only had me. She told me that because I'm so much like her that I'm probably infertile too. I've never had the tests done. Gynecologists creep me out. For some reason, I've always wanted to be a mom. I'm really great with kids and I love them to death. I feel awkward feeling this way! Is this normal? I'm I wrong to feel this way? When I get older, is there any way that, supposing I am infertile, I could have a baby? Is it wrong that I want to be a mother so much? I've told one of my ex boyfriends (when we were still dating) about it and he just called me a whore for it. Is this natural? Is there any way to fix infertility?

Can my girlfriend really love me if she lost her virginity to someone else?

Ronnie asks:

I'm afraid my girlfriend may still be loving her ex-boyfriend who broke her virginity. She has always proved that she loves me but I'm not convinced, even though she says she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. Is it true that ladies always have permanent feelings for men they first had sex with?

Girl + girl = pregnant?

Anonymous asks:

If a girl and a girl have sex, can they get pregnant?

Virginity: Written all over her face?

CuriousX asks:

Is there any way to see if the girl is still a virgin? By looking at her face closely? Or any changes in her?

Why do men lose erections after they ejaculate?

confused?? asks:

Why do men lose erections after they ejaculate?

Weight loss = bigger penis?

respect asks:

Okay, so I keep hearing that for every 30 lbs a guy loses (actually I've heard other versions where it's 10 lbs, which just strengthens my opinion on the subject) his penis gets an inch longer. To me, this freaking REEKS of BS, but I have friends who believe it or aren't sure. I've looked everywhere and can't find solid information one way or the other. Experts seem to agree that the ONLY thing that can increase penis size is time, which would run contrary to this story. Can you confirm or deny this?

Is Arguing Really A Turn On?

Anonymous asks:

I've never been a conflictual person, but I discovered my temper when I met this guy. We tried to have a casual relationship, but we are too alike or too different cause we argue/discuss/debate constantly; but we haven't been able to stop having sex. Its like arguing with each other is a turn on. Is this normal?

Is it "gross" to get wet?

mckac asks:

I get really really wet! It's really gross. My boyfriend wants to go down on me and finger me, but I don't want him to think I'm gross. Is it normal to be so wet? Will he think it's ok?

Are we growing apart?

anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I have been intimate; we even live together. But lately I feel as if we are drifting apart. I do not know if it's because of his job (since he works full time to support himself and he's also paying for his degree) or it's me. Although he is away on a trip for work right now, he never even calls me to tell me he misses me. He calls for me to do the work he left behind here for him. He used to be one of my dearest friends before we started dating and now I don't know what has happened. He says that I nag to much. Do you think I should give him space? I do not want to be in a relationship where I am being taken for granted and I really do love him.

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