Skip to main content
I've recently realized that I have some deep seated negative thoughts about sex. I feel that it's dirty, wrong and I'm bad if I have sex or use sex toys. I've always had some pain when I've had sex but I thought it was because I was nervous that it would hurt, so I would clench and it would cause pain. But I just got my first vibrator and I couldn't use it because I was clenching so hard that it hurt to use it. I realized that it's not that I'm scared of the pain, it’s that deep down I have the belief that if you have sex, or use sex toys, that you're a bad person and that it's not normal. I know that this is untrue, but it’s impacting my sex life enormously. How do I overcome my irrational fears?
I'm a straight 20-year-old girl who lately can't get the idea out of my head that I wish sooo much that I'd been born a gay boy instead. I'm not sexually active right now at all (have had 2 partners in the past but nothing for over a year) and it's pretty frustrating because I miss it. To compensate, I finally got the guts to look at some porn over the internet, but never with any girls - just (male) gay. In fact, seeing girls almost always totally turns me off and I really can't stand the moans of a female. What I like most is seeing "gay for pay" - straight guys who engage in gay sexual activities for money for websites. I've also become obsessed with finding gay-themed movies posted in parts by YouTube users. I'm a huge sucker for coming out stories or tales of experimentation and love and romance, both in full-length movies and short films. I've also realized how much more pleasure it seems a man can get from his penis than I can from my vagina. I mean, guys can jack off for like over 20 minutes sometimes before they orgasm, all the while feeling some sort of pleasure, and the same when receiving a blowjob (which, for the most part, I think guys can give better than girls). When I try to masturbate, it usually lasts less than a minute, it seems, and sometimes nothing even works. I don't think I ever orgasmed during intercourse in any of the times I had it. I hate practically everything about my body anyway, but after watching so many guys get off I just really wish I had a penis...
I had a surgical abortion at 10 weeks in February. Besides the abortion, I have never been to an OB-GYN, but because I am getting married in May, I would like to go soon. Since it is likely that I will move and never go back to this particular OB-GYN, is it necessary that I tell her about my abortion? Will she be able to tell during the examination? I've read that the cervical opening looks more like a slit than a circle after it has been fully dilated, but I doubt I was fully dilated for the procedure. I don't want to lie or be tricky, and I know it is best to tell a doctor everything about your medical history, but since this will likely be a one-time visit with a doctor I know very little about (ex. pro-life or pro-choice), I would really prefer to avoid the topic if at all possible. Thanks!
My best friend (boy) just came out to me that he is gay (I'm a girl).
I have been in love with him for 2 years now, and I am utterly devastated by this. I am really, really heartbroken. This happened just 3 days ago and I'm still in a state of shock. I don't know what to do now. I tell myself I'm feeling sad because I thought I might lose him, because he is now this new person I never knew, because he was never the guy I thought he was. But honestly, it may be because I am losing him as in I can never be his girlfriend/wife (because he will never like girls!). How do I deal with this?
I'm going traveling alone soon, and do realize the risks of it. I've recently been thinking about the prospects of rape, I know it may not be more likely to happen in a foreign country than here, but I do live in one of the safest places in England, so I'm quite ignorant of the likelyness of it. I'm a virgin, and have no idea if it would hurt more than if I were not. I know it sounds like a stupid question but its not something I can discuss with anyone I know. Anyway, would it be worth losing my virginity prior to leaving on the off chance? I have no one in mind to lose it to, and I understand it needs to be with someone I trust and feel comfortable, I'm just confused and need some help. Thank you.
My best friend gave me a blowjob and I don't know what to do about it. It started off at some college party a few months ago. We got drunk and had to get a ride to my place. He stays far away in the boondocks and the designated driver didn't want to drive that far so I told my best friend he can sleep by my house. While we were laying down and watching TV I told him about how my girlfriend gave me head for the first time last night. Next thing I know, he's giving me an example of when his ex-girlfriend sucked him off and he starts nuzzling his nose in my pelvis area. One harmless example lead to another and my penis ended up in his mouth.
I am celibate and a virgin. I don't masturbate. I think all forms of sexual activity are ok as long as people say safe and respectful, and this includes masturbation. I was never abused. I was brought up in a very open environment, where my parents never shied away from answering any kind of question about sex and answered very honestly and frankly, and never said anything was "sinful" or "shameful." And when they couldn't answer, both me and my siblings were pointed in the direction of good resources. There are plenty of things that "turn me on." I fantasize if I'm very horny but I wouldn't call that masturbation, and it's never that "graphic" in my head, it just "gets me off." I don't like watching others have sex either, like on tv or movies - I enjoy seeing people kiss or dance much more and think that is actually way more erotic!
MY QUESTION IS THIS: is there something wrong with me?
I am a girl that has a past, I am still a virgin, but I know some things, but my current boyfriend is a complete virgin. I was even his first kiss. I am seventeen and can feel all these urges, and I want him to do something, make a move, or something....anything, but he never does. I talk to him about it, and all it seems to do is upset him.....what can I do?
My friend came out to me the other day. I've never doubted my sexuality, but in the instant that she told me this, I got this weird feeling. I actually thought to myself in that instant that I could possibly feel more than just friendly towards her. I fantasized or a moment that, if she did come on to me, I wouldn't be too unhappy about it and might actually be with her in that way.
I've become frustrated with men recently. The guy I'd been crushing on after mending a broken heart told me he was gay (which would be the third time in a row this has happened). Could this just be a reaction to that? I doubt that I'm a lesbian, as I think I'd know something like that by now. Could I be bi? Could I be straight but still experiment without being "bi"? Am I taking this teeny thought WAY too seriously?
I've given my boyfriend head 3 times now without him ever reaching orgasm. The last time I went down on him, we went at it for an hour and a half before I got too tired to continue. He says that he gets very close every time I try, and that it always feels really good, but he still has yet to orgasm. He's 19, very fit and healthy, and he's had an orgasm before without problem. Is this a problem with me? Or could he have some health issue? Is there anything I personally can do to make it easier for him to come when I give him head?
My boyfriend doesn't understand that females need foreplay first before we have sex. He just thinks it's okay to "put it in and off we go". I've tried to explain to him that females need foreplay, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks just because he is "hard" I should be too. I'm trying to find some articles based on facts that females DO need stimulation before having sex, but to no avail. Can someone point me in the right direction please?
Ever since I lost my virginity I haven't been able to get very wet. Tightness is not a problem, but my boyfriend keeps complaining that I won't get wet and we have to work over and over again just to get him inside. I don't like using lubes so is there a reason it's like this? I'm on birth control pills so I think that may be it but what can I do to get wetter without using lubes?
I'm a 15 year old virgin and at the beginning of the summer holidays a met this guy through a friend of mine. We got on really well and started dating about a week after we met. The only problem is now we've been going out for a few weeks he's started to change, he's not as sweet and caring anymore and has started to try to get me to do more sexual things with him. He says his last girlfriend and him had sex after two weeks and doesn't understand why I will only do basic things. Up until now I've found it so easy to tell people I don't want to do something, but I've told him I don't think we've been dating long enough to do anything serious and he won't listen. Please give me some advice, I'm worried soon I won't have the guts to stand up to him and I don't want to be rushed into anything I don't want to do.
My boyfriend and I have talked about having sex, and I told him I wasn't ready to commit to something like that, but actually I am. I am just scared of what he'll think of me and my body during sex, also what do guys think of the girl's pubic hair, should I wax it off or wax it into a design? After sex, would the guys tell his friends about it how good I am or how bad I was?
I'm 16 years old (my 17th birthday's in a month) and my girlfriend is 3 months younger than I am. We've been dating for 4 months now and she's not willing to actually do anything with me. I'm not talking about sex yet, as I realize how sensitive that issue is, but about simpler stuff like going down on me (I'll be more than glad to return the favor) etc. I'm her first boyfriend and she's my first serious girlfriend, so I do understand her, but nevertheless I'm a guy and those cravings are beyond my control. I love her and I really don't want to break up with her, but her lack of interest in that area is nonetheless troubling and sometimes even sparks a fight (when testosterone seizes control over me). Any advice you can offer will be happily accepted.
Hi there! I really love your website, it has helped me a lot since I have began to experiment with partnered sex very recently (I had my first intercourse a month ago). I enjoy sex very much, and I'm really concerned about being protected when practicing it. And also, I have a very caring and loving boyfriend, who always listen to my needs and looks for my well-being during the act. So, what's the issue around here?
Well, after sex I've been feeling kind of...empty. I do love my boyfriend, he loves me, and sex is great, but I feel very depressed afterwards. I've never experienced this kind of feelings; I believe I'm very open when it comes to what I feel, and also to sexuality itself, so I'm geting a little bit afraid of this. I come from a very conservative family, that hardly ever discusses sex. So, I'm wondering, Am I repressed? If so, How can I open up to my family, without making a scandal? I believe this would help me a lot to end with this weird guilty feeling. So, any suggestions?
Thank you very much!!!
Im 14 and still dont have menstruation .... Is something wrong with me cause I feel abnormal . My friends always tease me and I have already visited a doctor but she said she'll have to see my V..... but I refused .. I also have scoliosis .. does that affect or dalay my menstruation?/ PLS HELP ME ...
My boyfriend and I have sex a lot and we both enjoy it. However, I can't feel him ejaculate inside me and I hate asking him if he's done because it's a real turn-off for both of us. Is it normal for girls to not be able to feel guys come inside them? And if so, how can I tell when he's done?
I am 18 and my husband is 19. We just got married 2 weeks ago, and up until then, neither one of us had ever had sex, any kind, with each other or any one else. So the first time was a bit.. awkward.. since we were both so inexperienced. We tried him on top, but he couldn't seem to go in, so I had to get on top. Since then, he insists I be on top every time. It is still enjoyable for me, and I am able to reach orgasm.. but it would still be nice to try something else. When we do it that way, he wants it to be rough and I would like it to be sweet and gentle, with him on top. Are we doing something wrong? Why wouldn't missionary work? He thinks he can't get inside of me if my legs are straight out, (he won't even try) so the few times we've TRIED that way, he insists I wrap my legs around him, and this is very uncomfortable for both of us. Are there any other kind of positions we should try that would be enjoyable for me, not just him? We've tried a couple others, but it seems right when we start, he just wants me to get on top again, and I feel frustrated, but do it because I love him, and it is still enjoyable for me... Just not romantic and sweet like I always imagined it would be. What should we do?
Also, after he ejaculates, we're in a state he calls the "what now".. if i get off, it all comes out all over him, grosses us both out, and stains all over our house (haha).. Is there something wrong with me? I thought it was all supposed to stay inside of me? It just kills the mood when we're done, and his ejaculate pours out of me everywhere, and he gets grossed out and then I feel bad.. I want us to feel good after sex!! Please help! I've looked other places for research, but haven't found any answers.. and I visited this site before our first time, and found it very helpful.. so i thought i'd give it a try. Thank you so much!
The fact I'm a virgin - it's a issue to him. I want to take my time and wait until I'm ready. He can't understand why I'm not ready. Anyway we decided not to take it further. He decided to get back with his ex as she can give him everything he wants and needs. I can't help but feel insecure and inadequate. I keep comparing myself to her. Thanks for your help.