My boyfriend doesn't enjoy receiving oral or hand jobs, and it makes me feel inadequate, what can I do?
We've been together nearly a year and I am his first partner, both romantically and sexually. He only recently discovered he can feel sexual pleasure (besides that brought by orgasm) and he has never felt it in orgasm. I've brought him to orgasm by blow jobs and hand jobs before, but he has never felt pleasure in a blow job. Though I did bring him extreme pleasure once in a hand job (this was when he made the discovery), he always seems to push me away from both giving him oral and masturbation. We instead dry hump, and this does bring him pleasure. His masturbation style is something of that, but it brings him no pleasure at all. I thought maybe he gains the pleasure from the intimacy. He says sometimes I pull his foreskin too far and this causes him pain. I've suggested he might have a tight foreskin, but he rebuffs that idea and doesn't want to try stretching it out. He also has a very sensitive glans due to an injury gained in masturbation years ago which left a red and inflamed mark beside his urethra. I feel sexually incapable and slightly unwanted, as he is very capable of giving me pleasure in many ways, while I can barely seem to manage one. What can I do to feel as though I'm able to bring him pleasure, and to embrace my sexuality? It was a massive insult to my ego for him to say he doesn't enjoy them, so I want to bounce back up.
"Geared towards 16-22-year-olds of any gender, S.E.X. covers the nuts and bolts of anatomy in a tone that's conversational, not cutesy…it's her holistic approach and deft handling of other heavy topics, from eating disorders to abuse, that make this book a must-read." - Bust Magazine