development

What's the biggest challenge for you so far with your sexual life?

I'm scared to touch my own vagina: why?

birthdaycake123
asks:
Hey. I'm 14 and I've never fingered myself. I've done other things, but the thought of fingering myself just seems gross. A couple times, I've tried to, but then I get to thinking about how gross vaginas are, and I chicken out. I know this is irrational, but do you have any advice on getting over this? Thanks....

Why Does Masturbation Feel Weird?

simplysarah
asks:
I'm 16 years old and a virgin and I'm not exactly sure how to masturbate? That might sound weird but I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to do it. I've tried fingering myself but it always kind of freaks me out and I stop and it never felt that good anyway. The thought of my fingers being inside myself just weirds me out, even though I know it's not weird but it is for me....

Has My Penis Stopped Growing?

HatesSnickers
asks:
I am 23, almost 24 years old now, but when I was in 7th and 8th grade and even in 9th grade; when my schools talked about sex education, I learned that a man’s penis size is not set in stone; and will more than likely continue growing until about age 20 or so, sometimes earlier and sometime later....

Your Scarleteen Wish List

Things slow down a bit here around the holidays. So, this is one of the main times of each year when I try to review all the content we have at the site and map out articles I, and the volunteers, feel we should aim to write or have written to add in the next year.

To do that, I look at the running notes I keep from observing what our users ask for in direct services and our social media; places where they ask for things and I don't feel we have just the right pieces to refer them to, or what we'd want to be able to give when it comes to on-site resources.

Four Daughters, Four Moms, Four Sex Talks

happy_active_loved_17
asks:
I'm 18, and I've been sexually active for about three years. I met my current boyfriend in August of 2010 and we've been inseparable since. He just celebrated his 21st birthday. My problem is, my mom seems to think I'm her angelic, virginal teenager. (I'm one of five kids) She doesn't know I'm dating or that I'm not a virgin. Before I go away to college, I'd like to come clean to her....

Sp[ace] Exploration: What Sexual People Can Learn from Asexual Communities

Asexuality saved my sex life. No, seriously -- I mean that. I will declare it from the middle of a courtroom, with one hand on Our Bodies, Ourselves. Asexuality, as much as sex-positive feminism and far more than any amount of "hon, you just need to get laid already," helped me to access a confident, positive, and excited relationship with my sexual self.

What Is Healthy Sexual Development?

Depending on your view, the answer to that question might seem really obvious or very tricky and hazy.

At a recent conference I was part of in London, Alan McKee presented Healthy sexual development: a multidisciplinary framework for research. What McKee and his colleagues determined to be the core parts of healthy sexual development had me jumping up and down in my seat with joy (literally: I may have disturbed my fellow attendees with my bouncing). It summed up the things we try to support, encourage and inform our users with and keep core at Scarleteen so well, and so much of what I think -- after many years of thinking hard about and working with these issues, and being fully and broadly immersed in them with a very diverse population -- truly is central to healthy sexual development.

I'm delighted to have permission to excerpt and reprint this framework here.