Quickies: Healthy Relationships
How can I help my boyfriend be more sex-positive?
My boyfriend and I have been together for several years, and I feel like generally we have a good sex life. When we first started, I faked a lot of orgasms, because I often wasn't getting enough natural lubrication to finish, a lot of which I think is because I'm on the pill....
Use Your Words: The Language We Use to Describe Ourselves Matters
What should you do when someone says no to or otherwise refuses or declines your romantic or sexual gestures or asks Accept it and stop making those gestures or asks. That's the right answer every single time: just accept someone's no and then back right off.
Asking or otherwise pressing over and over isn't the right answer. "Not giving up" (which often looks a whole lot like harassment) isn't the right answer. Trying to get them to change their mind isn't the right answer. Trying to get them to change their mind through their friends or family also isn't the right answer. And while it should be obvious, we so sadly know that it isn't: no kind of violence is ever the right answer.
Sexuality in Color: Respectability Politics
What is "respectability politics," and how can we confront it in ourselves?
I Beg Your Pardon? Dealing with Rude Nondisableds
The Problem Is Not Your Performance, It's Your Boyfriend
My boyfriend REALLY wants to have sex with me. We're both 17. I don't want to because I'm afraid to be naked around him. I have given him oral sex. But he hasn't done anything but kiss me. Though, last night he caught me in the shower and asked if he could come in and I reluctantly agreed. We had sex, but after he told me that because I was a virgin I failed my first time....
Scarleteen Confidential: In Defense of Teen Media
For two years, I worked in a bookstore that was aimed primarily at children and teenagers. It was a job I quite enjoyed, but I quickly discovered that when you work near books, people always want to tell you their opinions on said books. That's fine most of the time. But I noticed a pattern when parents or adults would refer to The Hunger Games series. They would express dismay over a child wanting to read the book, wondering what they saw in it, and either implicitly or explicitly stating that they thought the book was not good for youth to be reading.
What struck me about these conversations was that ninety-nine percent of the time, the adult in question had not even read the book they were criticizing. They dismissed it, either as inappropriate trash or as mindless fiction without ever actually seeing what it had to say.
My Friends Think It's Gross When I Talk About Sex
I"m 17 and I need some advice about my friends. We've known each other for years, one since toddler hood and the other two since middle school. They all talk about losing their virginity (or just having sex in general) all the time. When we go to college next year, when her boyfriend comes home for the summer, and on and on....