reciprocity

Hayley, I’m so sorry you’re experiencing the crappy feelings of ‘not being enough’, or even of someone potentially being ‘bored’ of you. It can be extremely painful to have those thoughts and I think it would be best for you to do what you can to start entertaining them as little as possible. It’s…

I am sorry to hear about your stressful sex conundrum. Being in school can be a very stressful and sleep-deprived time, and I am sure that many people can relate to your situation, including myself. Stress is just one of those feelings that has a much larger impact than many people acknowledge: in…

Hi Emma, Reading this, I get a strong sense that you expect to be judged for your age and your sexual choices. I have no intension of judging you, and I’ll get back to why in a bit. First, though, I want to answer your questions. It’s okay that your boyfriend doesn’t want oral sex. I know you want…

If cunnilingus isn’t an activity he enjoys, and he’s made clear he doesn’t enjoy it and doesn’t want to do it, in my book you don’t bring it up again as something you want. He’s made clear it’s just not for him right now, and he tried it twice to see. He knows you’re interested in it, so he’s…

A lot of what I’m reading in your post suggests to me that you two are just not in a good place for sex together right now. Someone telling you they don’t want to be intimate, that they don’t like it when you do sexual activities for them, that they don’t like to do them for you is usually telling…

If a healthy sex life is very important to you, I’d suggest you start by being sure you’re approaching sex with a partner in a way that is realistic. One essential aspect of healthy sexuality for ourselves and our partners is having our ideas about sexuality based in reality, and being sure our…

Hi there, I think you’re being a little insensitive towards your girlfriend. Have you talked to her at all about why she’s not comfortable with any sort of sex yet? Perhaps four months of dating is not enough for her before having any sort of sexual relationship. Try not to be confrontational ……

See that part where you say you don’t know what he wants you to do? When you two had that conversation – or better still the next day or now, when he’s sober, and you can even ask him if he meant what he said in the first place – your next question would have been exactly that. In other words,…

Ten minutes is actually a longer time, not a shorter one, for an erection to last once intercourse begins, especially for younger men. But even if he lasted a half hour, it’s unlikely that you’d feel satisfied with intercourse alone or reach orgasm that way, since the majority of women do not. Your…

In a lot of ways, people are like puzzle pieces, emotionally, intellectually and physically. Any two different pieces don’t always fit together, or fit together in the same way. Not all of our bodies and genitals are made alike. With penises, for instance, you not only have differences in size, you…