readiness

If your boyfriend hasn’t initiated anything sexually, and he gets upset when you talk about it, then it’s pretty clear your boyfriend isn’t feeling ready for any kind of sex yet and you need to respect that. You can certainly talk to him about this – making clear that you have no interest in…

I’d say that one big part of being ready to have sex with a partner is either having some measure of trust in them or being okay with big risks of things like someone telling other people intimate things if you don’t have that trust. But most of the time, most people are going to want to go with the…

Lisa, I can’t implore you enough not to take this personally and not to think about this as you being inadequate. You’re not inadequate: you two just wanted different things. Our needs and wants and someone else’s needs and wants are just not always going to mesh, even when one or both of us really…

You just answered your own question. You don’t need me at all! :) If you don’t think you can handle a sex life right now, and you don’t feel like sex outside of a certain context – which you are not currently in or don’t have the opportunity to be in – fits with what you believe or is going to be…

You can – and should, in my book – talk about this with him in advance if you have this concern. Neither men nor women lack the ability to be sure, when having any kind of sex with a partner, that we are paying just as much attention to them and what they want as we are to ourselves and what we…

As a product of the withdrawal method myself, you can imagine why I’m not too excited about it. But even if I wasn’t, what I know is that it’s one of the least effective methods in typical use (only 73% effective), and that even with perfect use (96% effective), it’s still less effective than most…

I’m going to break your question down some so we can be sure to touch on everything here. First, let’s talk a bit about readiness. Readiness for any type of sex happens for people at different ages, different points in the relationship, and even in some relationships and not others. One person may…

I remember a few years back when a close friend and I decided that we were going to try bungee jumping. I was petrified the entire time that I was being strapped into the gear and in the end decided that I simply couldn’t do it. As I stepped down from the ledge with my friend my body was shaking and…

People tend to forget that young men often may not even be at the stage in their sexual development where erections happen often or easily or where they can yet ejaculate. Some guys are just starting puberty at 14 or 15. Your boyfriend simply may not be at this stage in his development yet. But…

That all depends on what having it be special really means to you. I know that might sound trite, but we’re all just so different, and what’s meaningful to us varies so much that not knowing anything at all about you before now, what might be special to you isn’t something I can speak to with any…