learning

When Sex is Just a @#*&!ing Bummer

Sometimes sex is amazing. Other times, it's nice. Then there are the times it sucks. How do you deal, and what's the hidden value in not-at-all-awesome sex?

Impurity Culture: Masturbation Is Self-Care

Masturbation is a topic you might need to do a little extra work on defining your values around if you grew up in purity culture being told that it was a sin—and that’s especially true during the pandemic, when pleasurable touch from others is not always safe or accessible to us and self-care has become more important than ever as we try to process all the painful things happening in our world. Self-pleasure can be an extremely important aspect of self-care even during non-pandemic times, and right now that is especially true.

The Importance of Becoming the Examples We Want to See

I didn't see other autistic people in social scenarios I couldn't manage, so I couldn't imagine myself managing them. Attending my college’s autism group provided me an environment I never knew I needed. Being surrounded by other autistic people, I had found a rare secure place to socialize, one that let me start to discover other places I could be social in, too.

Connecting with LGBTQ+ Elders

There’s this feeling of smallness - that your world is confined to secrets you tell in your diary, or to the few people you know in real life that are brave (or perhaps foolish) enough to come out - that I identify as a part of my theory on queer orphanhood. You spend so much time contemplating your identity that you don’t have time to wonder about people out there. There’s a kind of spiritual displacement in being queer and young.

Is gender a social construct? Being an ally on social media

Anonymous asks:
I’m a 21 year old college student who is interested in being a better ally to my LGBTQ friends. I’ve joined the alliance at college and sometimes have discussions with the club about LGBTQ issues.I have fun, and it’s a good experience. Sometimes though, especially on social media, I feel like I need to agree with the most “progressive” side in order to be taken seriously as an ally....

It's Scarleteen-o-ween! (And We're Asking for Treats.)

This is a deeply lousy year for Halloween shenanigans. You can't shake candy out of a Zoom meeting, go to a haunted house unless your house is itself haunted, and it's really hard to drum up enthusiasm for a virtual party of any kind right now when we're all sick of the spaces we've been stuck in for months on end, when so many are ill, hurting or both, and, for those of us stateside, when election anxiety has our stomachs and hearts in a vice-grip.

This is also a lousy year for organizations and projects who need donations to keep the lights on and do all the things that they do, Scarleteen very much included. Based on how things have been the last eight months and how we suspect they'll still be for a while, unless something changes, we'll have about $10,000 less to work with this year than we did last year. We’re asking for your help.

Learning How to Love Through Friendships

For as long as I can remember, I have worked on cultivating strong and meaningful friendships. It’s through these friendships that I have discovered what I hope to get out of romantic relationships. My friendships teach me the importance of trust, communication, and commitment.

A Sexual Miseducation

Sex positivity should have given me the courage to ask for what I wanted. Instead, I thought it meant accepting what I got.