learning

How to Get Comfortable

Many people feel uneasy exploring sexuality. Not just the having s-e-x part, but also even just thinking about things like what they might like or the kinds of people they are or may be attracted to (if any!). So, how does a person explore sexuality, sexual identity and sexual interactions without feeling awkward? Spoiler alert: there’s no secret, no one-size fits all, no 10-step program and no magic spell I could cast that would take the awkward out of discovering who you are as a sexual being. But there are loads of things you can do to feel more secure and at ease in the process, no cap!

No Grey Area: A Journey Identifying and Healing from Sexual Assault

Sexual assault and abuse can take so many forms that some people don’t recognize right away or ever. I didn’t initially recognize it. The most simple legal definition of sexual assault is “forcing a victim to participate in sexual acts,” but this definition isn’t always helpful when you’re trying to figure out if you’ve been assaulted. It's so much more complicated and unique than a one-sentence definition.

What's An Abortion, Anyway? An Interview with Children's Book Author Carly Manes

Abortion can be hard for many adults to understand and process, let alone for kids. As with so many potentially major life events, they are often left in the dark without any comment or explanation as if nothing happened, or receive a rigid lecture from an authority figure imposing only their singular point of view. The book "What’s an Abortion, Anyway?" proposes a new, more fluid and non-judgmental way to explain this event to the small ones.

Support from the Start: How to Talk About Disability With A Disabled Partner When You're a Nondisabled Person

Disability may feel scary if you’re new to it - there is a lot of language involved to learn, maybe more medical information than you feel capable of handling, or you might have a fear about possibly being cast in a caregiver role more so than a partner. All of these fears can be dispelled or addressed through ongoing, healthy communication. In my experience, disclosure is an ongoing conversation and there is no single “correct” way to do it, but there are ways that our partners can be stronger allies.

Finding Our Own Voices: Renée Yoxon and Gender-Affirming Vocal Therapy

Historically, trans people and disabled people have had vocal training to change the way their voices sound; sometimes by choice and sometimes by way of strong culture pressure of what a gender and the voice of a person whose gender that is “should” sound like. Scarleteen volunteer Val was thrilled to sit down with a teacher who approaches the voice completely differently; not in the pursuit of “normal” or with an attitude of “fixing” but rather in the pursuit of uplifting self-expression and showing people the power of the tools their body has to express themselves. 

It's Never Too Late To Start To Date

Being autistic, some things just haven’t come as naturally for me as they seem to for other people. Unfortunately, these have included hallmarks of American life often used to symbolize being “an adult” like driving on my own or getting my first paid job. But human beings are not on a strict timetable to do all the same things at the same time. This is just as true of dating like anything else. Just because you (or I) haven’t been actively dating when a lot of other people in your life have doesn’t make you (or me) a failure. You’re just on your own timetable. So am I.

Hi, Bi Guy: Dating Guys For The First Time

If you’re a bisexual guy and you haven’t been with other guys yet, the idea might seem a little daunting, for a number of reasons. The reality doesn’t have to be so tricky, however, despite the worries you might have.

Pelvis Problems: Anodyspareunia (aka: Pain with Butt Stuff)

If you're here because you or your partner(s) have experienced pain with anal sex, you’re in the right place, regardless of whether the pain has happened multiple times or just once. I’m here to shine some light on anodyspareunia, a fancy name for anal sex being painful.

Impurity Culture: Masturbation Is Self-Care

Masturbation is a topic you might need to do a little extra work on defining your values around if you grew up in purity culture being told that it was a sin—and that’s especially true during the pandemic, when pleasurable touch from others is not always safe or accessible to us and self-care has become more important than ever as we try to process all the painful things happening in our world. Self-pleasure can be an extremely important aspect of self-care even during non-pandemic times, and right now that is especially true.

The Importance of Becoming the Examples We Want to See

I didn't see other autistic people in social scenarios I couldn't manage, so I couldn't imagine myself managing them. Attending my college’s autism group provided me an environment I never knew I needed. Being surrounded by other autistic people, I had found a rare secure place to socialize, one that let me start to discover other places I could be social in, too.