identity

Life has scripts. Little socially-agreed plays that we enact rather than trying to figure out all our interactions from scratch every time. Many of them are very simple. There’s also scripts for sex. Unfortunately, the most common script out there is terrible.

Words for gender, sexual or other kinds of identity don’t usually mean the same things to all people. In fact, they very, very rarely do. Those words also can never tell us all or even most of what someone is comfortable with sexually, what their sexual boundaries and limits are and what they are…

Although I think of myself as South Asian, I was born overseas and have always lived in a Western country. Our family still carries many of our traditional values from back home and we have a large community here. I came out to my parents around 3 years after having my own realizations. The impetus for this was that they had started to look for marriage partners for me.

My family is supportive of my life, as long as they get to ignore the queer part. I know they can’t handle it so I don’t talk about it with them. As for my community of colour, the only one I’ve ever really been a part of is my mom’s church family, and I know they wouldn’t be able to handle it either.

What’s it mean to be questioning, why would you or someone else identify that way, how do you deal in the process and how might you answer the question?

Maybe you know what safer sex is. But do you also know what it isn’t? Take a minute and fact-check your ideas about what can protect you from STIs and what cannot.

I want to first make a few things clear about any judgments you may be making about yourself or might assume will be made in my answer to you. I don’t like terms like “easy” when they carry derogatory judgments, for the same reason I don’t like terms like “prude” used or internalized that way. If…

Here are some other questions we’ve had like this one recently: I’m a newly married man. I was suspecting my wife was a virgin but the result came opposite then what I was suspecting. When we had sex for the first time there was no bleeding and I did not feel the vagina is so tight. It means is my…

Teenagerhood should be a time of dreams and expansion. We should be allowed to open our inner selves up and absorb as much light and life as we possibly can. We should be, but other people are often too often invested in what they think we should be to let us be what we are.

I wish that I could give you one simple, short and objective answer for what love is, but unfortunately, I can’t. That’s a question people have been asking for probably as long as there have been people, and as of yet, while there have been millions of answers, I don’t think anyone has arrived at…