compassion

My first sexual experience is linked with a tragedy. What now?

Anonymous asks:
A few years ago in college I had drunk sex with a guy I didn’t really know, he was a friend somewhat from high school but not really. He had pretty intense mental health issues, did not seek help and, shortly after having sex with me, committed suicide. I did not know how to feel and still grieve every year when I can bring myself to feel something....

Impurity Culture: Learning to Support Reproductive Rights When Your Religion Doesn't

Hello. I’m glad you’re here. I first just want you to know that I see you. I see you showing up here and maybe elsewhere, trying to learn, being open to new information and being willing to change and to grow. Intelligence, Stephen Hawking famously reminded us, is the ability to adapt to change. You’re smart, you’re doing your best and I believe in you. I know what it’s like to go your whole life being told one thing is true only to find out that actually, it isn’t. That’s happened to me so many times, on so many different topics, I’ve lost count. I know what it’s like to feel angry and disillusioned. I felt angry and disillusioned, too, when I began to realize that what I had been told about abortion was a lie.

Sexuality in Color: Can I Tell You a Story?

Mi gente — my beloved Latinx people who have courageously decided to make the trek north — your stories matter. Please know I admire you and I respect your decision to take action in your own self-care and that of your families. Your decision demonstrates profound acts of self-love and self-preservation. May you travel safe and light, keeping your heads to the sky, for you belong to this land.

Rebel Well: Conflict Resolution Basics

Rebel Well: a Starter Survival Guide to a Trumped America for Teens and Emerging Adults: conflict resolution basics for healthy, compassionate disagreement.

Rebel Well: Relationships & Sex

Rebel Well: a Starter Survival Guide to a Trumped America for Teens and Emerging Adults: guidance and support for your relationships and your sexual life in troubled times.

Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots

Healthy intimacy is about intentionally sharing private or vulnerable parts of our hearts, minds, bodies or lives with each other. Why would we do that, how can we do that, and what is and isn't healthy with intimacy?

That Guy

Anyone who knows me or who knows anything about me usually knows that my pre-teen and teen years were incredibly difficult. I dealt with neglect and abuse in my family, starting from about the time I was 10. I was sexually assaulted twice before I even became a teenager. I was queer. I was suicidal and was a self-injurer. I struggled to find safe shelter sometimes. Few people seemed to notice, even though after I gave up trying to use my words, I still used my eyes to try and tell them constantly.

I'm 40 now, and in a whole lot of ways, I felt older at 16 than I feel now. Some days, I am truly gobsmacked that I survived at all, let alone with my heart and mind intact and rich.

A lot of why I survived is about having gotten support.