compassion
My first sexual experience is linked with a tragedy. What now?
A few years ago in college I had drunk sex with a guy I didn’t really know, he was a friend somewhat from high school but not really. He had pretty intense mental health issues, did not seek help and, shortly after having sex with me, committed suicide. I did not know how to feel and still grieve every year when I can bring myself to feel something....
A Series of Letters I Wish I Could Send to My Younger Queer Self
Impurity Culture: Learning to Support Reproductive Rights When Your Religion Doesn't
Sexuality in Color: Can I Tell You a Story?
Mi gente — my beloved Latinx people who have courageously decided to make the trek north — your stories matter. Please know I admire you and I respect your decision to take action in your own self-care and that of your families. Your decision demonstrates profound acts of self-love and self-preservation. May you travel safe and light, keeping your heads to the sky, for you belong to this land.
Rebel Well: How to Help Each Other & Improve This Godawful Mess
Rebel Well: Conflict Resolution Basics
Rebel Well: Relationships & Sex
Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots
That Guy
Anyone who knows me or who knows anything about me usually knows that my pre-teen and teen years were incredibly difficult. I dealt with neglect and abuse in my family, starting from about the time I was 10. I was sexually assaulted twice before I even became a teenager. I was queer. I was suicidal and was a self-injurer. I struggled to find safe shelter sometimes. Few people seemed to notice, even though after I gave up trying to use my words, I still used my eyes to try and tell them constantly.
I'm 40 now, and in a whole lot of ways, I felt older at 16 than I feel now. Some days, I am truly gobsmacked that I survived at all, let alone with my heart and mind intact and rich.
A lot of why I survived is about having gotten support.
The Road Back From Whatever
While out of town this weekend, between two plane trips and a couple late evenings up reading, I started and polished off Elliott Currie's The Road to Whatever: Middle-Class Culture and the Crisis of Adolescence in very short order.