communication

Hi Emma, Reading this, I get a strong sense that you expect to be judged for your age and your sexual choices. I have no intension of judging you, and I’ll get back to why in a bit. First, though, I want to answer your questions. It’s okay that your boyfriend doesn’t want oral sex. I know you want…

Does sex feel like it’s “just happening,” rather than something you’re actively doing? Here’s how to change that.

It sounds like you have two different concerns in your question: that it is not normal for you to not be experiencing pleasure (or much sensation at all) while receiving oral sex, and that you also don’t want your boyfriend to feel bad about that. Let’s talk about the first part of your question…

I’m sorry to hear that sex has been a disappointment. Let’s see if I can help shed some light on this for you. A partner cannot be a mind-reader. No one can, but being someone’s sexual partner doesn’t magically imbue them with that skill. There’s just no way your boyfriend can know what you’ve been…

Everyone is different when it comes to hormonal/menstrual cycles, and there certainly are people who experience more intense effects of physical and psychological changes throughout their cycle than others. Experiencing changes in your mood, how your body responds to different kinds of touch, and…

What I’m not hearing in this is what you want. You tell me he’s been touching your body more and more, but you didn’t say anything about if that’s something you want and have been enjoying. I hear the things he’s been saying, but I don’t know what you’ve been communicating to him yourself. The…

It’s hard to say when things finally changed for me. All the pieces were there for a long time, waiting to fall into place, but I just wasn’t ready to let go and watch them tumble down. The idea of having to put it all behind me scared me. The idea of losing such a close relationship. Of losing something so familiar.

It’s hard to say when things finally changed for me. All the pieces were there for a long time, waiting to fall into place, but I just wasn’t ready to let go and watch them tumble down. The idea of having to put it all behind me scared me. The idea of losing such a close relationship. Of losing something so familiar.

Some helps and walkthroughs to create your own toolboxes and hone your skills based on Risky Business: Learning to Consider Risk and Make Sound Sexual Choices. My Core Inventory/Ground Zero/Manifesto for Sexual/Intimate Choices: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If you feel stuck, it might help to cover one bare basic…

Choices about sex and intimacy will always involve some risks, and making sound choices when risks, emotions and social high stakes are involved isn’t something anyone is magically expert at. How can we learn to do it well, and what are some common things that trip us up?