communication

It’s important to remember that partnered sex isn’t just about your preferences and wants, it’s also about the preferences and wants of your partner. Partnered sex isn’t a solo: it’s a duet, and what you’re going for is harmony. You’re going to find those wants and preferences out by experimenting…

The best person to ask that question of is…. (drumroll please) … your girlfriend! She’s the one who knows the answer to this question. When you’re doing something sexual with someone, and they’re not reacting in any way or don’t seem to be fully along for the ride, the first thing to do is to…

How familiar are you with the changes to your vulva or the rest of your body when you get sexually aroused? I ask this, because I’m willing to bet that there have been times, for you, when you’re with a partner you’re attracted to, and who you want to be with, but find that your clitoris is not as…

Well, not all men do freeze up when asked (and not all men watch porn, either). For that matter, some women also watch pornographic movies, and they don’t all become mute when you ask them about it, either. As someone who has written on these issues a lot over the last ten years, and asks others…

Are you ticklish? Or do you know people who are ticklish? I’m really really ticklish on my knees. Touch my knees and I absolutely go crazy! My partner, however, is totally unmoved by knee contact. In fact, he’s only really ticklish on his feet and elbows. My sister’s tummy is her most ticklish spot…

Can you see your double-standard here? You don’t reach orgasm during sex, but say that you enjoy and want it all the same. Even knowing that – assuming it’s true, and not just something you’re saying because you think you’re supposed to – you’re presuming that because he isn’t reaching orgasm, he…

There’s a lot to talk about here. Let’s start by addressing and dealing with your risks. It sounds to me like you’re both so unaware of your own anatomy, and were so unfamiliar with what any given kind of sex might feel like that there’s no way either of us can say if you only had anal intercourse…

Your issues of sexual satisfaction and your issues of considering opening up your relationship when it comes to dating others strike me as two different issues. We’re rarely going to meet a new partner who just lucks into knowing exactly what to do for sex to be satisfying for us. In fact, it’s much…

That all depends on what having it be special really means to you. I know that might sound trite, but we’re all just so different, and what’s meaningful to us varies so much that not knowing anything at all about you before now, what might be special to you isn’t something I can speak to with any…

You know, whether or not a boyfriend wants something from you does not obligate you to give it to him (and vice-versa). I’d totally be down for ditching work for an hour and having sex with my partner right this second. But he’s upstairs in his office doing work for himself right now which he needs…