communication

See that part where you say you don’t know what he wants you to do? When you two had that conversation – or better still the next day or now, when he’s sober, and you can even ask him if he meant what he said in the first place – your next question would have been exactly that. In other words,…

(Steve’s question continued) I feel weird having to rely to masturbation while having her. We’ve messed around a lot, meaning making-out, I’ve done almost everything to her breasts, and rubbed her vagina through her clothes with my hand and penis(dry humping), she has played with my penis through my…

Kasey: before I say anything else, let me just say that I’m very sorry this all went down this way for you. You holding back tears while continuing to give someone oral sex (which disturbs me), your husband having intercourse with someone else and you feeling unable to say anything, your feelings of…

So in other words, he’s expecting you to suddenly become psychic, right? What your partner is asking for here seems more than a little unfair to me and I’m guessing that’s something you’re seeing here as well. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to tell a partner that we want them to do something for us…

For men or women, sex is over when one or both partners don’t want to have it anymore, either because they both feel satisfied with the sex they had, or just because one partner or both, even if the sex didn’t result in orgasm, or feel like they wanted it to, just feels done with the whole works and…

You can – and should, in my book – talk about this with him in advance if you have this concern. Neither men nor women lack the ability to be sure, when having any kind of sex with a partner, that we are paying just as much attention to them and what they want as we are to ourselves and what we…

Hi there, Depending how long this has been going on for, I think you both need to give yourselves a break. You may have other stressors going on in your life, and now your sex life isn’t working out the way it used to … This is a lot of pressure. And, unfortuneatly, the more you focus on how great…

(Minny’s question continued) Still, I seem to be the odd one out and I find it distressing. I broached the subject with him recently, merely suggesting that I hadn’t actively enjoyed the way we’d had sex (not even that I disliked it) and he’d got very worried and hurt and said that I should have…

How about something like this: “Hey, I know we should have talked about this before, but since we’ve been having sex without condoms, I need us to talk about safer sex now. I don’t want either of us to be taking risks when we don’t have to, or when we should reduce them, so can we talk about this a…

The problem here isn’t your body, nor that fact that most women are just not going to orgasm from intercourse alone. The problem is, as you stated, the fact that your partner seems only interested in an activity which results in his own orgasm and his pleasure. That’s the big problem. That’s what…