communication

Let’s take a few minutes and break everything down into separate thoughts. First and foremost, you need to consider readiness. How do you feel about sex becoming a part of your relationship right now and especially for you personally about starting to have sex? Do you feel that at this point in your…

If you want to have any kind of sex with another woman, even together, than it’s not honest to say you don’t want another woman. You obviously do, in this way. As well, another partner is a person: not a sex toy, not an object, not some new “thing.” So, for everyone’s sake – particularly for that…

Consent is an active process and agreement, and it cannot be coerced. The absence of no does not mean yes. No matter how well you think that you know your partner, you should never assume that you know her thoughts in that instant about sex and what she may want or not want to do. She should also…

When it comes to sex and particularly to the issue of orgasm, expectation can be your worst enemy. As soon as you are worrying about whether you are normal or stressing about a specific event happening or not happening then you’re creating anxiety for yourself, which is a huge barrier to actually…

and Zooey also asks, I had casual sex with a friend of mine and the aftermath here is getting a bit out of hand. We talked about having sex before we actually did so; however, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in any emotional relationships. Last week my…

Anonymous’ question continued At the moment, I didn’t think much about how it will affect us. I just let him and he did it for a very long time. It was almost about a full half-hour when I came. He swallowed and everything. And then it hits me that my BEST FRIEND just gave me a blowjob. He went to…

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and…

Hi there, I think you’re being a little insensitive towards your girlfriend. Have you talked to her at all about why she’s not comfortable with any sort of sex yet? Perhaps four months of dating is not enough for her before having any sort of sexual relationship. Try not to be confrontational ……

Hi Merie, For the record, that awkward sex happens from time to time, no matter who you are, how many partners you’ve had, and how many times you’ve been with said partner. It’s okay, and it’s completely normal. You aren’t doing anything wrong either. Have you told him that while you enjoy being on…

I’m going to assume that when you say “sex” you’re talking about vaginal intercourse. If your boyfriend is going to have partners with vaginas who experience pleasure with sex, he’s going to have to adjust his way of thinking. Most people with vaginas – around 70% – are NOT going to reach orgasm…