readiness

Before I dig in here, I want to make clear that I don't think there is any one right age, right time, or right kind of relationship for everyone when it comes to what makes sex right or best. That varies from person-to-person a lot, and isn't usually based on something as simple as only how old we...

The first thing I want to mention here is that I’m not sure there is such a thing as “a normal teenager”! Seriously, each individual is different, with different needs and desires, and so there is no one way to be in the world. The best we can do is make decisions that are well-informed and that...

I'm so sorry that was your almost-first-time sexual experience. If it's any consolation, you're hardly alone: a whole lot of people have had this kind of experience with sex and a parent. Ultimately, I'd say your biggest issue right now is earning your mother's trust back, not finding a way to have...

For some people, in some situations, sixteen is young to have sex. For some, it is too young. For others, it feels like an appropriate age, and others still, it's felt okay to engage in sex at a younger age. Age-in-years, all by itself, doesn't tend to be a good marker of when someone is or is not...

Hello Shell, You bring up a good point here, something that most people with siblings deal with in some way or another. I am going to answer your question based on my background and experience as an older sister, sociologist, and online sex educator here at Scarleteen. Concerned older brother or...

I think the easiest way for the two of you to get out of the cycle about arguing about this is to take it off the table for right now. Here's what I hear: • I hear that he is feeling conflicted about whether or not he is ready, in many ways. However, it sounds like most of what he is saying is that...

There's no sense in being anything but frank. Sex does tend to change things. It can bring about or illuminate changes in the relationships it occurs within, changes in our other relationships, and changes in ourselves. Often, we have to add some factors to our lives we may not have had to before...

Let’s take a few minutes and break everything down into separate thoughts. First and foremost, you need to consider readiness. How do you feel about sex becoming a part of your relationship right now and especially for you personally about starting to have sex? Do you feel that at this point in your...

Unfortunately, some women don't know or understand when they're carrying around double-standards when it comes to being ready for sex. You're not the first guy to ask this question or be in this situation. Just like it is for women, guys are not somehow automatically ready for sex any time their...

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and...