pain

None of this has anything to do with how much you masturbate. Nor is this likely about something that’s wrong with your penis. I am, however, seeing a few issues here that are either misinformed or not as they should be which are the likely culprits. For starters, understand that the vagina really…

My boyfriend says that anal sex is no different than regular sex. Is that true? He also says we don’t have to use a condom? Also, will I still be a virgin if I have anal sex? Will it hurt as much?

At least once every couple of days, someone posts or writes into Scarleteen reporting that vaginal entry – usually intercourse or manual vaginal sex, and usually (but not always) with cisgender male partners – is painful, uncomfortable, or unfulfilling for them. Whatever sort of vaginal entry we’re talking about – with fingers, a penis or a dildo, with partners of any gender – not only doesn’t have to be painful, it really shouldn’t be. More than that, any kind of sex shouldn’t be about a lack of pain, but about the presence of pleasure.

The more common meaning and implication of the term came to change around the 13th century and derived a sexual, sexist and moralistic meaning. With that change, the word now implied that staying a virgin until marriage guaranteed that a woman would uphold the family honor by passing from father to husband as an object that was owned – her virginity, her own body, was a thing of value that would be owned by her father, until such time as ownership of her virginity, body and sexuality would be transferred to her husband.