I'd like to start by addressing your use of the word "sex." Sex can mean anything from masturbation (aka "solo sex"), to manual sex ("fingering"), to oral sex, to anal sex, and of course to what many people mean when they just say "sex" (and what I'm guessing you're referring to in your question)...
intercourse
- Heather Corinna
I think one of the coolest things about sex is that it's a lot like our taste in music. When it comes to music, we get to like what we like, and listen only to what we want to listen to when we get a choice. Obviously, in the grocery store or at a club what we hear not going to be up to us, but that...
- Heather Corinna
Lube can do some great things, it's true. But you know what it can't do? It can't turn a lousy partner into a good one. It also can't take pain away that's being caused by a partner being a jerk. I'm so very sorry to hear about how your boyfriend treated you. But this isn't about your body being a...
- Heather Corinna
Assuming that you're engaging in manual sex -- hands or fingers engaged with your genitals, fingering being one term for that -- to express or explore your sexual feelings or desires, fingering IS sex. Just like intercourse can be sex, just like oral sex can be sex, just like full-body massage can...
- Heather Corinna
Feeling like you didn't "get anything in return" sounds very troubling to me. That strikes me as a huge deal, and like something that's probably bigger and about more than sex being a first-time for you and not for him. Someone with partners before you isn't limited in their ability to do their part...
- Heather Corinna
Virginity isn't a term used in sexual health or defined medically, anatomically or by any one sexual activity. It's a word some people use to determine when they or others have or have not had sex, based in either personal or cultural ideas or experiences of what they consider sex to be. I can't...
- Heather Corinna
I want to start by debunking a few things, especially one thing you said which anyone who helps people with sexuality for their job hears all the time. That's what you said about the rest of the human population enjoying sex. When we talk about sex as something people usually do because they enjoy...
- Heather Corinna
Before I say anything else, I want to make sure you know how typical it is to not reach orgasm from vaginal intercourse for receptive partners. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here since we've addressed this a lot, so I'll just give you basics on that, followed by some links if you want more...
- Heather Corinna
My hat's off to you for being so thoughtful about the readiness of your partner. Too many people not as concerned as they should be about a partner's readiness, and people are often particularly prone to presume male partners are always ready: that if men want sex, it's all go, with no need to...
- halfwish
We hear so many horror stories about first-time sex. Perhaps it might be good therapy to read about a first time that went well.