desire

The news is full of the wrong ways to try to have sex. Forever we’ve seen high profile men – almost always men – chasing people for sex, abusively. For the last few years, some high-profile men have been held at least a little accountable for it, which means it is not always swept under the rug anymore. But now that the abuse is more visible, if you stare into that abyss long enough, it might start to stare back at you. You could end up lying on your bed wondering if being a guy while being horny is somehow inherently tainted and gross. Most of us want to find someone or a few someones, for relationships or hookups, but right now, looking at some of that foulness, it might feel like trying to find a partner is a minefield of red flags because men’s sexuality is inextricably abusive. It isn’t.

This sounds like a frustrating situation, and I’m sorry this side effect of your testosterone has made things so much trickier in this one respect, but in case it helps to have a reminder: your lack of interest in masturbation or sex doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, and I’m sorry to…

A short, fast, sex ed summary about crushes, and some simple dos and don’ts when you have one.

Your question came in well before COVID-19 was on the horizon, but ever since it reared its virus-y head, a LOT of people are finding themselves in your situation. If someone experiences sexual attraction or desire, there is going to be a point in their lives where they feel sexual urges they can’t…

When people ask about lowering their standards and whether it’s worth it to do so, the answer to that question depends on what those standards are. You didn’t describe yours in detail, so I don’t have much to go on, but in general, I’d divide what people tend to call “standards” into two types of…

When your disabled body decides to literally crap out on you, how do you bring sexy back?

Being disabled doesn’t mean you can’t have a rewarding and awesome sex life.

You’ve got a few layers to this question, so let’s peel them off and look at them one by one. Let’s get “is this normal” out of the way first. Normal is a deeply unhelpful concept when it comes to sex. We can talk about how common certain behaviors or desires are, although even then that may not be…

While it can sure feel like there is sometimes, there is no default setting when it comes to feeling sexual desire. There’s no one default, nor a universal normal, for who has those feelings, how often they have them, when in life they have them or they first develop, in what specific circumstances…

Before I say anything else, I want to address about those feelings of shame and inadequacy you had – from the sounds of it, are still having – when your partner told you his feelings about your sex life. Someone feeling like their sexual life or interactions with someone else aren’t satisfying, or…