communication

Not only can you not stop your vagina and vulva from lubricating, that is what HAPPENS to people with vaginas when we become sexually aroused. It’s supposed to, ideally, because if we’re not lubricated, vulval and vaginal sex – as well as some kinds of clitoral stimulation – doesn’t feel very good…

You know, it actually isn’t “cute” to not understand your own body. It’s pretty tragic, and for the person who doesn’t understand, it doesn’t tend to feel cute. It can even feel pretty scary, especially if and when you’re doing things – or someone else is – with that anatomy you can’t or don’t…

Is it possible to have sex with someone while they’re asleep? Sure it is. Is it likely they won’t wake up at all? Not so much. Is it likely that person would wake up and think it was awesome someone was engaging them in sex without their permission in advance? Probably not. More to the point, is it…

Let’s do what we can to work this out, okay? I know it’s tough – especially if you’re also dealing with trauma in your family – and it’s scary, but it really is workable. I don’t know what you mean when you say you’re always careful, but there are currently – sparing men or women who get…

If you’re uneasy about it, then I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s probably not the time to do it yet. We can like someone a lot and be intimate in ways with them that don’t require sex or any given type of sex, and which also don’t put us at risk of things we’re not prepared to be at risk for…

Say you don’t really dig giving oral sex. That really is all there is to it. Very few people like to do EVERYTHING there is to do sexually. I bet your boyfriend doesn’t like to do everything any given partner of his might or will want to do, either. Maybe it’s that he doesn’t really like someone…

I wouldn’t say you’re probably doing anything “wrong” here per say. Unless something is causing pain or injury or simply isn’t wanted, it’s not really fair to characterize it as “wrong.” Have you asked your partner what he likes? If not, then I’d start there. Sure, you could go get a book or a…

Do you want to have a better sexual experience this time, as well as a relationship of real quality – in which someone loves, likes and cares for you just as you ARE, not based on a persona – with your new boyfriend? If you do, then it’s really important to be honest. When we’re dishonest with…

Here’s the thing: when a person with a vagina is sexually aroused, in general, yheir vagina self-lubricates (becomes more wet), their clitoris and parts of the vulva become more erect, and the vaginal opening and vaginal canal relax and expand (become looser). So, to ask to be wet AND “tight” is a…

It sure is. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, yourself – with your boyfriend or when you masturbate alone – it probably will at some point. Orgasm is a full body event that gets our circulation pumping and our nervous system all fired up. After orgasm, in the resolution phase of the sexual…