communication

It certainly sounds like this isn’t a good sexual relationship for you, and perhaps hasn’t been throughout. I’m not surprised you’re feeling dissatisfied, and not surprised you find yourself experiencing anger and resentment around your sex life in this relationship. It sounds not only like your…

A few years back I was at a sex and disability conference in San Francisco. Tom Shakespeare, an author, disabled activist, and disability scholar, was giving the opening talk and he began by saying that as disabled people the real problem is usually not how to have sex, but who to have sex with. Eli…

Hedo’s question continued: While I was working with her and experimenting with what she liked I got a lot of positive feedback and encouragement. It was very clear that she was enjoying what I was doing, which felt amazing for me, too. But after we finished and cleaned up she got withdrawn and…

If I had an award to give each day for great awareness and forward-thinking about potential partners and relationships, you’d get it today, hands-down. Actually, you should just take it for this whole month. Seriously, this is really sage thinking on your part, and so valid per both of your best…

I probably can’t help you keep erections or ejaculation from happening when you don’t want them to, since that’s just something largely, and often entirely, outside someone’s control. Hopefully what I can do is help you to worry about it less and accept the way your body is right now more. We hear…

Before I say anything else, I want to make sure that you understand that it’s okay for you to simply not feel like having sex, and to decide to not have it for the time being. You say you don’t like sex, and that’s absolutely valid: We don’t have to like it, at any given time or ever. Now, if you DO…

What do or might you want to do, not want to do or aren’t sure about when it comes to sex with a partner? Take stock with this awesomely in-depth list.

What someone likes or doesn’t like, both in general and more specifically as it relates to pleasure, is an intensely personal thing. As much as we sometimes like to pretend this isn’t true, there just aren’t universals about certain activities that Every Single Person Ever absolutely loves, or…

Well, the only person who knows for sure if your partner is being honest with you would be your partner. I think that is just one reason why it sounds pretty important that you revisit this discussion with him, particularly if he doesn’t know you’re still feeling unsettled or uncomfortable even…

You should experiment and communicate with your partner and should do the things together and alone that feel uniquely good for both of you – not just one of you – at any given time. In all truth, the answer to situations like this really are that simple, and there’s not a whole lot more to it…