Sexual Relationships

And Anon asks, “I am naturally kinky, and I am looking for girlfriend who is dominant more of gfd. I do not want a mistress but a girlfriend who can understand me at times. I want to appear to have a normal relationship in outside world.” I combined these two questions because they exemplify a trend…

You are not being unreasonable. I don’t think his response and behavior about the lube is fine. I don’t think it’s okay for him to tell you that not having sex isn’t a big deal for you, or to tell you how important sex is to your relationship for both of you. I don’t think it’s fine for him to be…

I can understand why you aren’t feeling loved and wanted. It sounds like your partner is acting in a distinctly unloving way. I have some thoughts about ways you can approach conversations with him, to see if he’s willing to change his thoughts and actions here, but unless he is willing to make some…

When people ask about lowering their standards and whether it’s worth it to do so, the answer to that question depends on what those standards are. You didn’t describe yours in detail, so I don’t have much to go on, but in general, I’d divide what people tend to call “standards” into two types of…

It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into what you want from a romantic and sexual relationship, and that’s great! It’s always good to spend some time figuring out what you want and need before you start a relationship. By knowing yourself and your boundaries, you’ve got a solid foundation for…

I’m so sorry to hear that your friends’ behavior has got you feeling this way, Liv. From the sound of things, even if they’re not doing it on purpose, they’re souring what otherwise sounds like something that’s been pretty nice for you and is also obviously a formative life experience. A first…

I think what you both should do — or more to the point, the only sound thing I think you can do — is accept each of your feelings and wants instead of trying to change them. I also think it’s important you let your girlfriend know that she should work to accept her feelings as well. I think it would…

Dear Anonymous, When I first got your question in my inbox, I was really excited to write a response, because I have felt the same as you at different times in my life. As a disabled teenager, the idea of having an anonymous hook-up felt weird, inappropriate, and simply didn’t feel like “the right…

Hi Lisa, You can’t see it, but I’m holding a stop sign up to the computer screen right now, because you need to hit the brakes when it comes to your friend and his oh-so-generous offer to help you cheat on your boyfriend. That’s what he’s offering, by the way; it’s not sexual physical therapy if you…

No, you should not have to be romantically and sexually interested in a guy to have sex with them. And no, what you want isn’t bad. It is absolutely okay to have an interest in being sexual with others but not romantic; to want sexual interactions or relationships but not romantic ones. You sound…