Sexual Relationships

Dear Anonymous, When I first got your question in my inbox, I was really excited to write a response, because I have felt the same as you at different times in my life. As a disabled teenager, the idea of having an anonymous hook-up felt weird, inappropriate, and simply didn’t feel like “the right…

Hi Lisa, You can’t see it, but I’m holding a stop sign up to the computer screen right now, because you need to hit the brakes when it comes to your friend and his oh-so-generous offer to help you cheat on your boyfriend. That’s what he’s offering, by the way; it’s not sexual physical therapy if you…

No, you should not have to be romantically and sexually interested in a guy to have sex with them. And no, what you want isn’t bad. It is absolutely okay to have an interest in being sexual with others but not romantic; to want sexual interactions or relationships but not romantic ones. You sound…

You’ve got a few layers to this question, so let’s peel them off and look at them one by one. Let’s get “is this normal” out of the way first. Normal is a deeply unhelpful concept when it comes to sex. We can talk about how common certain behaviors or desires are, although even then that may not be…

“He was genuinely trying to understand me and listen and everything, but he just didn’t get it, because he’s been watching porn for years and never really known anything else? About a week ago we were texting and he asked me if I had ever sexted with anyone before, and I said I had (which wasn’t a…

Before I say anything else (and I’ve got a lot, so go on and put your feet up: this is big stuff, so you deserve big responses), I want to make a couple things super-clear. One: you get to have whatever kind of mutually consensual sexual life it turns out feels right for you, even if that turned out…

Before I say anything else, I want to address about those feelings of shame and inadequacy you had – from the sounds of it, are still having – when your partner told you his feelings about your sex life. Someone feeling like their sexual life or interactions with someone else aren’t satisfying, or…

Casual sex is one of those things that, so far as we know from the study of people and sex in history, people have always done. Given that for most of human history, basic survival was seriously tough, people’s lives and interactions often were more brief than either are now, and many people or…

The charts below are excerpts from the far larger, ongoing Multigenerational Experiences With and Attitudes About Casual Sex Survey I have been collecting responses to since 2010. The data below reflects responses given as of 6/8/2014. It is a broad, international survey, with the age of respondents…

What is it? Why would – or wouldn’t – you want it? What makes it more likely to be a blast or a bummer?