Advice

Why can't I feel anything during manual sex?

Rainbowgirl65
Question

I have been fingered/fingered myself and I KNOW its supposed to feel GOOD. But, when I've gotten it done/done it myself I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING. No pleasure, pain, NOTHING! I mean yeah I can feel there's something inside of me, but it's not like anything. I don't know, is there something wrong with me? Why is it like this?!

Congratulations, you’re totally normal!

It’s strange the way that we often have expectations about the way things “should feel” or “should work” that are totally in opposition to the way that our bodies are made. The vagina⁠ itself is not particularly rich in nerve endings. Even more specifically, the nerves that are there are mostly in the section very closest to the outside of your body (with the exception of the nerves associated with the g-spot⁠). For the most part, you’re not going to feel a lot inside because of the way you’re wired (so to speak). This should make a lot of sense based upon the way people with vaginas give birth, well, vaginally. Anyone who has been through natural childbirth will tell you that there certainly is pain and discomfort associated. However, that’s nothing compared to how painful it would be if the entire vaginal canal were very nerve rich! So from that perspective, you really don’t want a ton of specific sensation when it comes to things being inside the vaginal canal.

To be quite honest, simply inserting something into the vagina do much for most people with vaginas for much the reasons I’ve already mentioned. Our bodies are simply not designed to receive a great deal of sensation from insertion alone. While some people with vaginas do enjoy g-spot stimulation, it’s not a magic button that does it for everybody. Instead, many people require some external, clitoral stimulation. The labia⁠ and clitoris⁠ are where the majority of the nerve endings lie for people with vaginas, so again, it should logically make a lot of sense that these areas deserve attention as well.

So there’s nothing wrong with you here. You are reporting something that is quite in line with the experience of many many people simply because that is how our bodies are made. Rather than worrying about why inserting fingers on it’s own isn’t doing anything for you, focus on those parts of your body that are more likely to do something for you. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t engage in those activities if you want them, but do understand that you’re likely to need more stimulation than just inserting an object alone.

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