Question
I have been sexually active for about 3 months now. Usually before sex, my partner and I have a few minutes of unprotected sex and then he puts a condom on. My period is now a week late and I'm worried. I already took a test that came out negative but I'm still kinda scared. My friend told me that it's usual for my period to not come when first having sex. Is this true or should I wait a little while and retake a test?
Condoms are ONLY reliable birth control (birth control: Any number of methods people use to intentionally prevent unwanted pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) when they are used for ALL direct genital contact, from start to finish.
If you have intercourse (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) without a condom (condom: A thin sheath or tube of latex or another material, worn over the penis during sex to prevent or reduce the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections.) , and only put a condom on later on, then you can’t depend on condoms to protect you against pregnancy (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) (or STIs), since it is possible for pre-ejaculatory fluid to create a pregnancy.
Too, starting sexual (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) activity or intercourse doesn’t have the power to alter the menstrual cycle (menstrual cycle: The whole of the phases of menstruation, which include, but are not limited to, the menstrual period.) , unless there is a pregnancy or infection (infection: When harmful microbes, or germs, or harmful levels of microbes/germs, enter the body and multiply, causing illness. The common cold, flu viruses, sexually transmitted infections, chickenpox, impetigo, rabies and diphtheria are some kinds of infections.) (and even then, with the latter, one rarely sees menstrual (menstrual: Having to do with menstruation.) changes). Now, stress – or more accurately, the changes in people’s behaviours due to stress – can delay a period (period: The fluid – or flow – which contains blood, from the shedding of the uterine lining usually at the end of each menstrual cycle. Sometimes periods may be less fluid and more globby; this is the state that is often mistaken for blood clotting.) , and a lot of people who menstruate get very stressed out (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) by sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) , especially if they’re taking risks with it, so that’s possible, but intercourse itself can’t delay a period unless it has caused pregnancy.
If your risk was more than 2 weeks ago when you took the test, you can rely on the results of your test, so long as you took it and read it correctly. You can also retest in a few days just in case, or if you did take the test too soon. If you retest, and it’s not taken too early, with two negative results, you really can rest assured that you are not pregnant.
However, since you’ve been having some unprotected sex, I’d suggest that you go into your OB/GYN (OB/GYN: A physician who specializes in obstetrics and gynecology; in the reproductive and sexual health of people with a vulva.) or sexual healthcare clinic if you are not current with your STI screens anyway (as should your partner (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term “partner” can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. “Partner” can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) ), and you can also ask for another pregnancy test (pregnancy test: What we tell you to take when you ask us if you’re pregnant. A test that can be done at home or by a healthcare provider to determine pregnancy. Usually a urine test, a pregnancy test measures for a specific hormone, hCG, only produced with pregnancy.) there, and to have them just check in to be sure everything is okay with you. Once you get all that covered, if the result is not pregnant, no STIs and no other issues, then your best bet is just to try and relax and accept that now and then, our cycles can be unpredictable, and that’s okay.
Obviously, from now on, if you’re going to use condoms as your birth control method, you’re going to want to start using them properly, which means for ALL contact. If the reason you two haven’t been doing so is a sensation issue, be sure you’re also using plenty of latex-safe lubricant (lubricant: A fluid used in order to make kinds of sex (such as masturbation, vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse or manual sex) more pleasant and comfortable, and/or to help prevent condoms from breaking by decreasing friction.) with your condoms. A drop inside the condom before he puts it on makes things loads better for your partner, and plenty on the outside, or rubbed unto your vulva (vulva: The name for the external genitals of people assigned female at birth. The vulva includes the mons, external clitoris, inner and outer labia, fourchette and perineum.) , will improve things for you, as well as keeping your condoms from breaking.
