5 min read
• first published
• updated
• 31,898 views
Ahmed
Question
I have a urgent question that I had sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) with my girl friend two months ago and now she has become pregnant and I don’t want this pregnancy (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) to be delivered and even don’t want to abortion (abortion: A procedure to intentionally end a pregnancy before a birth. Miscarriage is also sometimes called “spontaneous abortion,” even though it is usually not intended.) by incision. My doctor advised me to use CYTOTEC tablets of Pfizer, that it will sloughs off the pregnancy. I am not sure,please tell me is it right to use it? Does it work. It’s urgent.
Yo, buddy: it’s not up to you if your girlfriend sustains her pregnancy (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) or not.
It’s up to her and her only. You also don’t get to decide for her how she terminates her pregnancy, if that is, in fact, what she wants to do.
As well, no doctor can give a partner (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term “partner” can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. “Partner” can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) the medications needed for a medical (abortion via mifepristone (mifepristone: One of two drugs currently used for medication (or medical) abortion.) and misoprostol (misoprostol: One of two drugs currently used for medication (or medical) abortion.) tablets) abortion. Well, he can, but it’s beyond unethical, usually unlawful, and not something either of you should be conspiring about together without the person who is actually pregnant present. If your girlfriend wants a medical abortion (FYI, a surgical abortion involves no incisions), it is she who needs to see a provider so that she can make that choice, she can get the care and instructions she needs, and she can arrange the needed follow-up, since medical abortion is not as effective as surgical, so she may still need a surgical procedure later.
As well, medical abortion is only intended to be used – and may only work for – for pregnancies of 8 weeks or shorter. Your girlfriend may already be outside the window for a medical abortion at this point, so again she needs to talk to an abortion provider if that is what she wants to do, not you. And in order to be okayed for a medical abortion, and for a doctor to determine if it is safe and effective for her, she’ll need an ultrasound done to see how far along she is.
For future reference? You get to make your reproductive choice, as a guy, at the time intercourse (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) may occur. If you absolutely, positively do not want the possibility of having a child you helped make come into the world, then the best choice you can make is not to have intercourse. If you choose to do that, you can be sure to use condoms properly, every time: they aren’t foolproof, and sometimes do fail, but that is – sparing vasectomy (vasectomy: Surgical blocking of the vasa deferentia (each vas deferens) for permanent birth control.) – the one thing you can do, as a person with a penis (penis: One of the two external reproductive organs of people often assigned male at birth.), to prevent pregnancy if you’re going to have intercourse. But condom (condom: A thin sheath or tube of latex or another material, worn over the penis during sex to prevent or reduce the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections.) or no, if you have vaginal intercourse (vaginal intercourse: When a penis or sex toy is inserted into and held by the vagina while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of either sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) with a person with a vagina (vagina: The internal passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus.), if a pregnancy occurs because of it, the choice about what to do is out (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) of your hands.
If you can’t deal with that, then don’t have sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) that can result in pregnancy. It really is that simple.
Jessamyn Fitzpatrick & Sophie Nir from The Abortion Positivity Project
Even pro-choice people fall into the trap of perpetuating abortion stigma, playing into anti-abortion rhetoric and inadvertently helping the opposition.
