Question
Me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time. I used protection and she has been on birth control to regulate her periods out. She has missed her period by a week now. She has had brown spotting but no period. Is it normal for your period to be a little varied after the first time having sex?
The notion that intercourse (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) can somehow change the menstrual cycle (menstrual cycle: The whole of the phases of menstruation, which include, but are not limited to, the menstrual period.) – unless a woman becomes pregnant or contracts certain infections – doesn’t have any factual cause or real basis. The menstrual cycle is a whole cycle, which occurs due to hormonal changes that intercourse, all by itself, can’t disrupt or change. While certainly, sexual (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) arousal (arousal: A state of sexual excitement and interest that sends messages to the brain which create physical changes and sensations, such as increased blood pressure, erection, lubrication, loosening of the vaginal or anal muscles, and increased physical sensitivity.) and orgasm (orgasm: An event typically in response to physical or intellectual sexual stimulation, controlled by the involuntary nervous system. ) can bring about some chemical changes in the body, those changes disrupting a whole cycle, much of which will have determined itself in advance of any given sexual activity, is unlikely, and those changes are not exclusive (exclusive: Something that is not divided or shared with others; which excludes others based on a given criteria.) to intercourse. In other words, if intercourse caused those changes by itself, so would oral sex (oral sex: Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation. Cunnilingus (“going down on”), fellatio (“blowjobs”) and analingus (“rimming”) are some common kinds of oral sex.) , manual sex (manual sex: Sometimes also called digital sex. Kinds of sex involving the hands and fingers to sexually stimulate the genitals or other parts of the body. Fingering, handjobs or “fisting” (deep manual sex) are some kinds of manual sex.) , making out (making out: A vague term, but often a session of extended activity that includes passionate or deep kissing, some kind of other body contact and may even include other kinds of sex, like manual sex (fingering or handjobs).) , or masturbation (masturbation: Ways that people seek out and/or experience sexual pleasure by themselves, without a sexual partner.) .
But it’s common enough for this to happen, just due to stress and worry about infections, pregnancy (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) , getting caught, a relationship (relationship: An ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.) changing, and all the sorts of anxieties people can, and often do, have about sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) . Obviously, for women, the anxieties usually tend to be greater because it’s women who can become pregnant, and when sex is brand new, it’s typical to worry a lot more about it all than when it’s something a person has been doing for a while. And even when on the pill (the pill: A common term for birth control pills/oral contraceptives. A hormonal medication used to prevent unwanted pregnancy.) , the way we feel and behave when we’re stressed out (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) can disrupt our cycle.
But too, if she’s new to the pill, that spotting may well be what her withdrawal (withdrawal: A method of birth control which involves the person with the penis “pulling out” of a vagina well before ejaculation and ejaculating away from a partner’s genitals.) bleeds (the “period (period: The fluid – or flow – which contains blood, from the shedding of the uterine lining usually at the end of each menstrual cycle. Sometimes periods may be less fluid and more globby; this is the state that is often mistaken for blood clotting.) ” a woman has while on the pill, which isn’t really a period at all) are like. It’s normal for periods to be slightly lighter and shorter when on birth control (birth control: Any number of methods people use to intentionally prevent unwanted pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) pills. It’s also normal for withdrawal bleeds to vary every now and then – the pill certainly puts some external controls on flow and timing, but our bodies can still kick in with some differences sometimes.
Given that she is on the pill, and you also used a condom (condom: A thin sheath or tube of latex or another material, worn over the penis during sex to prevent or reduce the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections.) (hooray for you!), pregnancy or STIs are not likely here.
So, her best bet is just to try and relax about this, and if she has any strange discharges or odd symptoms in the next cycle or so, or feels that her withdrawal bleeds really don’t appear as they should be, it’d be a good idea for her to check in with her health-care provider.
