BDSM

The end of sex can feel sudden and shocking. It can set off other uncomfortable feelings that might be related to other issues or memories. But by incorporating aftercare into your sex practices, those feelings can be diminished or alleviated. Not only is aftercare beneficial to your overall pleasure, it’s an important aspect of ethical and respect-based sex.

First off, you aren’t alone in being turned off by “hardcore BDSM” or in feeling like you aren’t really seeing a wider range of nuanced depictions of dominant/submissive relationships with which you might identify more easily. It’s true that there’s a mainstream image of d/s dynamics that many…

And Anon asks, “I am naturally kinky, and I am looking for girlfriend who is dominant more of gfd. I do not want a mistress but a girlfriend who can understand me at times. I want to appear to have a normal relationship in outside world.” I combined these two questions because they exemplify a trend…

There are a couple of things that I want to talk about here. Obviously, the fact that you’re not enjoying sex with your current partner is the big one, but I also want to address what sounds, from what you’ve written, like an assumption about what it means to be dominant or submissive, and a…

Our rundown of do-it-yourself sex toys you can make and use with a partner.

Adjusting to a shared living situation where you and your boyfriend will probably have roommates and neighbors close by can be a challenge, but giving some thought to this beforehand, as you’re doing, will go a long way towards helping you keep up your enjoyable sex life without alienating the folks…

Let me first say that questions like yours are really common. Sorting through fantasies can be a tricky business and it’s sound to think about whether what we fantasize about is something we actually want to try. Our sexual fantasies, just like other kinds of fantasy, often aren’t things we want to…

I’m not going to be able to tell you exactly what happened here, because I wasn’t in your head or his, I don’t know what the dynamics of this relationship are or have been like outside of this context and I don’t know your sexual history, including with this person. This is one of those posts I wish…

It’s important to understand that rape is only sex for the person doing the raping. And really, it’s not even that, since partnered sex is something we do WITH someone, not TO someone, or have done TO us. A person being raped does not have control over the situation, isn’t consenting and IS…

There’s nothing like starting to put together all of the myriad complexities, preferences and desires of our sexuality to point out how silly it really is to suggest that human sexuality, sexual orientation or gender can be easily divided into such tiny boxes, is there? The short of it is that I…