Toy Queries

If I get an IUD can I use a vibrator?
sam w replies:

The short answer is yep, using a vibrator should not compromise an IUD should you choose to get one. You can banish fears of enjoying a session with your favorite external vibe only to see your IUD on the floor.

If you're concerned about the interaction between the IUD strings and an inserted toy, you can consult with the doctor who will insert the IUD about cutting the strings to a short length to lower the chances that they won't play nice. According to sexologist Carol Queen, there seems to be some doubt about the interaction between vibrators that rotate and the IUD, but those concerns seem to be mostly in the realm of either internet anecdote (which is not, generally, the most reliable source) or the hypothetical. If the IUD has been inserted correctly, it should be stable and not come out, even with vigorous insertion of a sex toy. After all, if IUDs came out whenever something large, or something that moved, was inserted into the vagina, they would not be nearly as effective a method of contraception as they are.

One other quick note about IUDs and toys: if you get an IUD, be sure to cover your toys with condoms and be diligent about washing them. That's a good habit to have anyway to lower the risk of unwanted bacteria getting into your system, but with an IUD you want to cut down the risk as much as possible. This is especially true in the first few weeks of getting it, as research is now showing that you're more susceptible to infections in that window of time. In general, having something in your uterus can make you more vulnerable to infection. So keep your toys well-scrubbed and covered, and you should be good to go.

KpopCookie143 asks

I've been using a dildo for about two years now but when I use it it starts to hurt deep inside my vagina after a short while (like, right up the back). It feels like it's bruised or something and it lasts about 3 days before I can masturbate again. What's happening?? Please help! I don't want to damage anything down there.

I can't say for certain, but it sounds like the toy you're using may be bumping your cervix. If you're using a fairly long toy, it can reach all the way back there. If that size is coupled with hard material and/or a very energetic or forceful masturbation session, it can create a pretty intense sensation and leave you feeling tender when you're through. You can actually bruise the cervix, which might be what's happening in your case.

One other possibility is that you're using a larger toy with maybe not quite enough lube. That can sometimes leave your genitals feeling sore and not wanting to be touched for a few days.

Regardless of the cause, it sounds like this is uncomfortable for you, so let's look at some ways you might be able to banish that discomfort. It may be time to retire the toy you're using and replace it with a shorter or smaller model. You could also keep your current toy but make it something you only use once in a while and have your go-to toy be something that doesn't leave you feeling bruised. A third option is to experiment with the angle and position you generally masturbate in. It may be that the way you're sitting or lying makes it easy for you to hit your cervix. Playing around with new positions might give you a way to keep your current toy without continuing to bruise yourself.

The reason I chose to answer your two questions together is that they illustrate how sparse information on sex toys can be. We've started to talk about them more, and we're seeing them advertised more, but some of the ways in which they interact with our bodies are not always touched upon. Hopefully, you both now have a more complete understanding of how they might fit into your lives. Go forth with your new found knowledge and masturbate without fear.

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