Hot dogs and buns?

Can I stick a hot dog in me?
Sarah replies:

There are lots of things we can do, but sometimes it's best if we choose not to do so. For example, I could stick a bean or small rock into one of my nostrils. It's physically possible for me to do so. However, it's probably not the wisest thing for me to do.

So, let's talk about your question specifically here. You don't really say where you're wanting to stick a hot dog. Obviously there are some bodily orifices where a hot dog is simply not going to go, like your nose for instance. There are other orifices where it'll easily fit, your mouth for example. If you're wondering about sticking a hot dog into your vagina or anus, that's going to be tricky. Both of those openings are muscular, so there's a good chance you'd have trouble getting a hot dog in there since it's not a particularly rigid object. Also, since this is a food, obviously bacteria is a big issue. You can't really clean and sanitize a hot dog. So especially in terms of introducing it into your vagina, that would just be asking for an infection.

As a general rule, food should pretty much stay in the kitchen and away from insertive sexual activities. I know that certain genres of porn and erotica may discuss the use of various food items on or in the genitals, it's just not realistic to think things work that way without consequences. The vagina is a very delicately balanced environment and introducing something into that which cannot be cleaned into that can very easily upset the balance. Upsetting the balance can lead to bacterial or yeast infections (in addition to infections that you could pick up from germs or other nasties that are on the object if it's not clean). For this reason, foods are just generally best left for eating and for non-genital activities. Foods can certainly still be sexy, and if you want to include them in your sex play in another manner (like feeding one another, for example), that's cool. But if you don't want an infection, you probably should stay away from using them for insertion. You're much better sticking with objects that are made to be sex toys if you're looking for something to use as a sex toy. Those items are made to be safe (for whatever type of use they are labeled for) and should be designed to be easily cleaned.

There's a pretty simple set of rules you can you when deciding whether or not something is alright for insertion into the body:

  • It's gotta be clean, baby! You must be able to thoroughly clean the item. The very best things are going to be things that you can boil to sanitize. If you can't boil it, then you must be able to thoroughly wash it with soap and water in order to get it clean. If you can't clean it that way, you can also cover the item with a brand new condom to help protect you.
  • No sharp edges. Anything pointy or with sharp or rough edges should be completely avoided. Vaginal and anal tissue are quite delicate and can easily be torn by uneven edges, so you only want to consider items that are very smooth.
  • Avoid things that might break or fall apart. Breakage in the body would be a very bad idea. You could easily hurt yourself this way. Certain food items are also going to be a problem in this area because they might fall apart and leave bits inside you (which could easily lead to infection).
  • Own, don't borrow. Borrowing other people's items for sexual purposes is not a wise idea and can be really rude (especially if they don't know that you're using it or are using it for that purpose). You don't know what they've been doing with the item, so it could easily be covered with bacteria or virus from them! It's also not very polite to use things for sexual purposes that others are going to unknowingly use later. (If you're wanting to share an item with a partner, make sure that it is thoroughly washed and sanitized and/or covered with a new condom before using it on the other person.)
  • Flared...or no "butts" about it. For anal insertion, do not use anything that does not have a flared base.
  • If it hurts, stop! If you start using an item and have any discomfort, stop right away!
  • When in doubt, throw it out. If you're not sure about an item, then avoid it for sexual purposes.

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