You know it's time to go, and you know it's also time to start letting go. You probably have a whirlwind of different feelings about it. You may be leaving the worst
relationship
you've ever had, you may find yourself having to let go of what felt like the very best one. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a love, maybe it's a
FWB
, your town, your family, or even just a way of thinking or believing. No matter what it was, what you know it's got to be now is over and what you've got to start to get is over it.
You might feel relieved, tired of struggling to make something work or happen or keep on, glad to just be done. You might also feel angry or sad or sick or guilty or defeated or numb or betrayed or any number of things about what got you here. You might feel braver than you ever have in your whole life, or more terrified than ever before. You might feel surer than sure and determined af; you may feel unsteady, uncertain and reluctant. You might feel just as sad it's over as you feel glad it's over.
You might also be going through all of these feelings and more in endless cycles lasting no more than about 30 dizzy, confusing seconds a piece. Just maybe some of us around here know a few things about this kind of experience. We've been there before or we're there, too, now.
We've got some content on the site that might be of use to you right about now:
- For figuring out if you should stay in something or not in the first place: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- If you're leaving something abusive: The Scarleteen Safety Plan
- For some big breakup help: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking
- Some self-care basics: Self-Care a La Carte
- If it's a first love you're leaving and trying to get over: First, But Not Last: On Finding, Navigating and Losing First Loves
- If you want to try and resolve the conflict before you go (don't forget: there are other reasons to leave besides unresolved conflict or acrimony!): How to Clash With Love: Some Conflict Resolution Basics
- If you're thinking about therapy as one way to get help leaving or moving on: Process This: Getting the Most Out of Therapy
You can also always find someone kind that will listen to or talk with you in our direct services. It's sometimes hard to leave, or hard to get all the way through it and to the other side: it can help to get some more support.
And, of course, you can dance and sing it out with us on Apple Music or Spotify:
- Bye Bye Blackbird - Miles Davis and John Coltrane
- Don't Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
- Kiss You Off - Scissor Sisters
- Ex's & Oh's - Elle King
- Dancing With Myself - Billy Idol
- Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects
- I Love It (feat. Charli XCX) - Icona Pop
- You Can't Fire Me, I Quit - Tacocat
- Get Out of This House - Shawn Colvin
- Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
- Walking Away - HAIM
- Ashes to Ashes - David Bowie
- Dancing On My Own - Robyn
- Take a Bow - Rihanna
- You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
- Life to Save - Hurray for the Riff Raff
- Nothing Lasts - Matthew Sweet
- Over You (feat. A Great Big World) - Ingrid Michaelson
- To Live a Life - First Aid Kit
- Goodbye Goodnight - Andra Day
- I Will Dance (When I Walk Away) - Katzenjammer
- Let It Go (feat. Ethan Tucker) - Michael Franti & Spearhead
- I Will Survive - Cake
- Holy - Jamila Woods
Go your own way. It's okay. Take the time you want or need to feel all the things you feel, in all the ways you feel them. But set your eyes or your feet or your wheels on the road to start moving on, too. Happy trails.