I think I don't love him.

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Hanami
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 5:19 am
Age: 22
Awesomeness Quotient: My eyes
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: Slovenia

I think I don't love him.

Unread post by Hanami »

Hello! So approximately 2 years ago I had this huge crush on a boy from school but he was in love with my best friend. She didn't really like him but because he was being so nice and charming to her she kinda fell for him but still she didn't really like him. They started dating and he really liked her but their relationship didn't last long because she broke up with him after she saw "his true self" as she said to me. While they were dating I still had a crush on him and was jealous but I managed to deal with my feelings and in time became "emotionless"? So i got over him and me and my bestie lived as if nothing has happend (we had major fights because of my jealousy but we overcame them and now were even better friends) and then everything changed again. It was the last week at our school and they guy that dated my bestie fell for me... I thought i liked him so when he kissed me on the last day of school I kissed back but tbh I really didnt feel anything. I don't know what exactly we are now but yeah we kiss and talk and laugh but I don't feel any butterflies when I see him etc. Basically I feel absolutely nothing yet I still like him. I told my bestie about that and she was fine with it but I still feel really weird and I am not sure if i should still be seeing this guy. He is really good to me and I can see that he really likes me so I don't want to make him feel bad but while I'm trying to not hurt him, I'm hurting myself. What should I do? P.S I'm sorry if I made any mistakes while writing this as English is not my first language.
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9893
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: I think I don't love him.

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Hanami,

It can definitely feel strange when we had very strong feelings for someone and suddenly realize that those feelings aren't as strong anymore (if they're there at all). With this boy, have you two talked about what you would like the relationship to be and what you each are looking for from it? If not, that's the place to start. We have a few articles that can help you do that, if you'd like them.

I also want to say that it's okay to end whatever romantic relationship you may have with this guy. Even if the other person is very invested in the relationship, if you're only sort of "meh" about it, it's not fair to either of you to stay just for the sake of staying. Does that make sense?
Hanami
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 5:19 am
Age: 22
Awesomeness Quotient: My eyes
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: Slovenia

Re: I think I don't love him.

Unread post by Hanami »

Thank you! I feel better already and yes that makes a lot of sense:)
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9893
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: I think I don't love him.

Unread post by Sam W »

You're welcome! If you find you need to talk more about this, or about anything else relationship or sex oriented, we're happy to do so.
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