I split your post off from the original thread (viewtopic.php?f=19&t=5897
) because there were some additional things I wanted to touch on.
It sounds like you've been exploring your own kinks more, and that you have some sense of what things are off the table for you. Can I ask where you think that guilt you feel is coming from, or why you're afraid you'll discover you like certain things in the course of experimenting?
I do want to echo something from the original thread, which is that while some people (including survivors) find the kink very uncomfortable, others find it empowering or enjoyable. Framing adults engaging in a consensual kink as pedophilia obscures the bigger discussion and is also sort of inaccurate.