Not knowing where I stand?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
moonbear96
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Joined: Mon Feb 01, 2016 10:34 am
Age: 27
Primary language: English
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Location: UK

Not knowing where I stand?

Unread post by moonbear96 »

Hey everyone!

To cut to the chase, for the past year I've had feelings for this guy. I really fell for him, hard. We've known of each other for years but I never actually talked to him until a mutual friend introduced us and we hit it off. He invited me out places and we had so much in common that we could have long conversations that could last for hours. It was going really well, I was almost certain he was going to ask me out. Then due to him being busy with work and university I started seeing him less and less and when I did get to see him he'd act weird and distant and other times he'd be really close and affectionate. So I've been feeling really conflicted. My friends tell me "he's definitely into you" and I'm inclined to agree because they are so many signs that he is - or that he was, but recently I'm not sure if this is me just making assumptions but he seemed to be flirting with another girl on Facebook and he only contacts me when it's convenient for him.

I'm not sure if he realizes or if he's doing it intentionally, but I find his recent behavior really hurtful. I can't get over the hurdle of asking where I stand with him, I'm too afraid of getting hurt even more. I tried to get over him and told myself to move on but it's proven to be far more difficult than I'd hoped.

I really don't know what I should do? Could anyone give me any pointers? :|
Thank you so much!
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Location: Chicago

Re: Not knowing where I stand?

Unread post by Heather »

So, something I feel like I'm missing in here is why you haven't asked him out (I assume you mean ask to be in some kind of relationship, since it sounds like you were already dating in some way?) yourself.

In other words, you say he didn't ask you, but I want to make sure I'm not missing that you asked HIM. Did you ask him, or is the situation just that you have been waiting on him to ask and he hasn't? If so, can you fill me in on why you've been waiting on him to take that step when you know you want to go out with him, but haven't taken that step either?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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