Kinda Wanna be Real Here..

[Aly.O]

Hey! So, I love your website. On the old message boards, I remember seeing a crap-ton of posts about people talking about having protected/unprotected sex, and becoming pregnant as a result, and I know that another way to get pregnant is having genital-genital contact or hands covered in semen touching the vulva, for example, but have you guys seen a case like that? Me personally, I've only heard of sex making a baby, not "we rubbed up against each other and now im pregnant." I was just wondering if any of you have ever seen a case where one of the unlikely scenarios created a baby. I just wanted to know if that kinda stuff happened often, if not ever. Thanks!

[Heather]

We make pretty clear here, in so many places, what does and does not present real risks of pregnancy. And by all mean, if something is not associated with pregnancy in reality, we do not state that it is.

The language you are using here is also a little tricky: after all, we could easily describe intercourse or other direct genital-to-genital contact - things I assume you probably include when you say sex - as naked "rubbing up against each other."

So, I do not know all of what you mean when you say "that kinda stuff," and if you are asking about things we actually do list and explain as posing pregnancy risks, or things we say are not realistic risk scenarios, but you see people scared about who are users, or in content elsewhere.

[Aly.O]

Well, I guess what I'm asking is, you've seen people telling you they are pregnant because of penis-vagina intercourse, whether it be protected or unprotected, but have you ever gotten a case where the penis only came into contact with the vagina, and a pregnancy occurred? Or hands with semen came into contact with the vulva, and it caused an egg to be fertilized? (I'm just listing the unlikely scenarios, the ones that still can happen, but aren't as likely as male and female intercourse). I just wanted to know if you've gotten someone who didn't have sex, but played a part in an unlikely scenario and became pregnant, because they must be possible to happen, but has it?

[Heather]

The thing is, intercourse IS the penis coming into contact with the vulva and vagina. A lot of people have the idea that the standard for what makes intercourse (and the level of risks associated with it) intercourse is a penis being x-number-of-inches in or whatever, and that's just not sound (particularly given there are penises in the world that are smaller than the number-of-inch criteria some people consider!).

What intercourse is is direct genital-to-genital contact where there is any kind of contact between penis and vagina: and that's, indeed, the way pregnancy almost always happens. But that's not because that's something besides intercourse, but because that's the core of what intercourse is. OTOH, something indirect, like penis-to-hand-to-vulva can't be put in that same group at all, so talking about those things as if they are the same doesn't make sense. Follow me with that?

We make pretty clear, again, what kinds of contact do and don't present risks, so me going through all of what that is here in this post by rewriting it is a bit silly. Would you like some links to our static content that explain, clearly and directly, what kinds of contact or activity are or are not known to present that risk, and how much of that risk each presents?

If instead, what you're asking is if a pregnancy has EVER happened from things we say it absolutely can't happen with....well, for the most part, that answer will be no. No one on earth can possibly know what people did to make every pregnancy happen, because that isn't recorded information (even for people with medical records of pregnancies!), as well as for other reasons. But we can assure you that if we say something poses NO risk of pregnancy, or is very unlikely to, we're not just pulling that out of our butts or guessing.

We're saying that because the science of reproduction is actually not all that complicated when it comes to those pieces, and as people very well educated in what human reproduction requires, we -- and other people like us -- can very easily sort out what does and doesn't pose risks based on what things can meet all of those criteria.

I know you guys, especially when you're freaking out, aren't viewing it that way, but it's a lot harder to view it objectively and soundly when you are freaking out, or haven't studied it as a thing to study, rather than having just sought out information that applies to your own concerns. It's pretty easy for those of us coming to it in different ways -- as a study, as a science, as a job -- to view it and the facts associated with it clearly. Does that make sense to you?

And no, I assure you that even just speaking for myself, getting close to two decades in this field, that if I had ever heard of weird cases of pregnancy we could be sure occurred from things we thought had no risk (and people in our kind of fields love to share weird stories, so believe me, I've got plenty about so many things that have been shared), you can bet your bottom I'd be going back to the start and doing a huge review of what we know now, looking into more research, etc. to assure our information is factual. That is something of the utmost importance to me, and which I take very, very seriously. No one pays me the big bucks, so I can't claim that, but I don't have a desktop covered with awards for my work for nothin'.

[Aly.O]

Aha I don't doubt for a second that you guys know what you're talking about. I guess what I was asking is if anyone has run to you saying "a penis touching my vagina got me pregnant!!" Or "a hand covered in Deneb got me pregnant!!" I was just curious as to the things you've seen and heard but yes I totally follow you, and I've been studying your posts for a while (I like reading about them, I'm not sure why but everything here feels like good info to know, after all it's my body and I should know as much as I can about it) so I know about all those articles. I'm actually not even worried about a risk rn, it was just on my mind about the things you get to read and help people with.

[Heather]

Again, though, a penis having contact with the vagina IS the way pregnancy most often occurs, while hands are way, way unlikely, so talking about them as if they are at all the same is not sound.

[Aly.O]

Ah, that makes sense!

[Heather]

If you have not yet seen this -- http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodie ... _companion -- the list on the very front page of what does and doesn't pose a risk should clear more (maybe even all?) of this up for you.