Stuck Between A Decision
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xoxoneishaaa
- newbie
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Stuck Between A Decision
Me and this guy have been friends since 7th grade. We're both 18 now and we gotten close.... so close that we've had sex 3 times. I trusted him with my virginity because of how good friends we are but should I ask him should we be a couple, just keep it friendship or just end the whole thing with him?
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
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Re: Stuck Between A Decision
That really depends on what you both want. What do you feel like you want when it comes to this relationship?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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xoxoneishaaa
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:45 pm
- Age: 26
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm confident
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: No
- Location: Alabama
Re: Stuck Between A Decision
I just want him to tell me how he really feels. But I don't know how he feels about me.
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9542
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Stuck Between A Decision
Then it sounds like you need to ask him. 
Still, though, how he feels doesn't give you information about how YOU feel and what YOU want, which you have to know when you're asking what you did in your first post.
So, what you need to do is first figure out how YOU feel -- regardless of however he does -- and what YOU want -- regardless of what he does. If we make choices about relationships just based on how someone else feels and what they want, then we're very likely to wind up in things that we don't want or aren't right for us. In any relationship, whatever kind it is, everyone involved needs to have a sense of their own wants and feelings, and be making choices based on those actively, rather than just passively going along with someone else based on what they want. Know what I mean?
Still, though, how he feels doesn't give you information about how YOU feel and what YOU want, which you have to know when you're asking what you did in your first post.
So, what you need to do is first figure out how YOU feel -- regardless of however he does -- and what YOU want -- regardless of what he does. If we make choices about relationships just based on how someone else feels and what they want, then we're very likely to wind up in things that we don't want or aren't right for us. In any relationship, whatever kind it is, everyone involved needs to have a sense of their own wants and feelings, and be making choices based on those actively, rather than just passively going along with someone else based on what they want. Know what I mean?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead