How to manage Gender Dysphoria during Solitary Sexual Activities?

[Demigirl09]

Okay So this isn’t super comfortable to talk about but here we go.
I am Nat I am an almost 15 year old assigned male Demigirl and I have noticed that sexual things trigger my gender dysphoria. I am planning on fully transitioning when I’m older, but was wondering if there is anything I can do in the meantime to feel less dysphoric during these times?

[Latha]

Hi Demigirl09, welcome to the boards!

I understand how this isn't a very comfortable question, but I'm glad you've asked! There are definitely things you can try to manage dysphoria in these situations. Would you tell us a bit more about the dysphoria? Have you noticed that the feelings are focused on a specific activity or body part? What thoughts come to your mind?

[Demigirl09]

Hello Latha,
So when I thought that I might be just Genderqueer/agender a year and a half ago I would jack it to Gay Porn and Drawings and while I know that Porn is not real and is staged and Overdone I feel that in my brain, I developed the idea that I was on the scene and as I have realized that I am a girl and that I need to fully transition because of my dysphoria it has been hard to let this porn go. I also would mostly do this with clothes on but as I’ve started to take my clothes off, it has gotten a bit better.

[Willa]

Hi Demigirl09,

Is it accurate to say that watching this type of porn is the source of your dysphoria because it no longer feels like it represents your interests/sexuality/gender? I understand how it can be difficult to let go of a type of media that is reliable in terms of arousal, but if watching this type of porn is triggering dysphoria- it may be worthwhile to explore other types of sexual media or ways of reaching arousal. Searching for sexual media- whether that is video, written, etc- where you feel more comfortably represented could lead to a more positive and hopefully less dysphoric experience with masturbation. Does that seem like something you could do?

[Demigirl09]

Hi Willa,
Yes I do agree that this type of Porn is partly a source of my Dysphoria because it is not in sync with my current interests. Because in addition to me identifying as female now, at the time I started to watch this stuff I thought that I was only attracted to Males but have recently started to think that I am Omnisexual/Fluid. I also will say that ejaculation is a source of Dysphoria but it reminds me of my Biological Sex.

[Demigirl09]

I meant to say because it reminds me of my biological sex, not but it reminds me of my biological sex.

[Andy]

Hi Demigirl09,

That’s a really useful thing for yourself to know about why does this particular kind of porn cause dysphoria for you. Knowing that, how do you feel about exploring other kinds of sexual media that might be a better match for your identity and interests?

Also, when you say ejaculation is a source of dysphoria for you, do you mean seeing that in media or ejaculating yourself?

[Demigirl09]

Hi Andy,
So my ejaculation dysphoria stems from ejaculating myself because every time I do so the thought of Girls don’t produce Semen goes to my head, I have tried edging but I am not very good at it. And yes I will take your suggestion of watching new porn.

[Latha]

Hi Demigirl09,

I understand why you would have that thought. We live in cisnormative societies that tell us that girls must have a certain type of body. But I think you and I know that isn't true. Some girls ejaculate like you do, so girls can produce semen. I know it isn't always easy to get this kind of association out of your head, but try to remind yourself of this point.

You could also try to reframe the process in your mind. Sometimes people in your position choose to use different names for their body parts or the things that their bodies do. For example, you could choose to refer to ejaculation as squirting. What do you think of this?

[Demigirl09]

Hello Latha,
Yes I definitely think that I could that using different names for things could work, I already kind of do that as I like to refer to masturbation as jacking it or Self Pleasure since the word masturbation gives me Dysphoria for whatever reason. Thank You for Your Help!