Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
- not a newbie
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2020 5:20 pm
- Age: 18
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at math
- Primary language: English
- Preferred pronouns: they/them or xe/xir (no preference)
- Sexual identity and orientation: queer, pansexual, aromantic
- Location: my bedroom probably
Some background information: I'm a senior in high school, we probably won't be back to in-person learning until after I graduate, I'm aromantic and polyamorous. I'm also non-binary, I have several squishes (all unreciprocated), and want to go on E at some point but can't at the moment because my parents wouldn't be okay with it.
Some of the uncertainty I have about the future is due to being worried that I won't have anyone in my life and that I'll be alone. It's not just being worried about being single, that I'd be totally fine with. What I'm worried about is not having any friends or a partner who are very close (physically and emotionally both). One of the weird things quarantine has done is it's made me consider all of the fantasies I have of the future but also all the worst-case scenarios. One specific example is that my dream scenario for the future would basically just be living with a bunch of friends and/or qpps. I didn't really realize that would be my dream future until quarantine happened. The thing I'm worried about is being alone and not being able to get hormones or even have people who support and care for me, and what's scaring me is I'm increasingly worried that that's what I'm headed towards. It's become way more real that I might lose contact with people that I don't know how to cope without. They're the people who I always used as the reason to keep going and I knew I could count on for help.
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 2019
- Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
- Primary language: English
- Preferred pronouns: he/him, they/them
- Sexual identity and orientation: queer/bisexual
Hi confused human,
I'm sorry things are feeling so uncertain at the moment. I think right now it's especially easy to feel anxious and uncertain about the future, because so many things are uncertain on a societal level. We don't know when it'll be safe to do things like meet new people or have classes in person again, and that makes it hard to make specific plans about living situations or how to structure our social lives in ways that feel meaningful.
I am a big worrier myself and it's very hard for me to turn that part of my brain off, so please understand that I know how tough it can be when I say this, but: I think the best thing you can do for yourself is try not to worry too much about things in the far future and how your life might look then. I think that most of us just can't know that right now. It's scary and it's unfair, and it's easy to spiral off into worst-case scenarios, but dwelling on those thoughts is ultimately going to provide a lot of anxiety and probably won't help you any.
When it comes to the people you're most worried about losing contact with, what does that contact look like right now? Are there ways you can set up some regular check-ins or other ways to try and maintain strong connections there?