how to prepare for sex with a longterm partner??

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how to prepare for sex with a longterm partner??

Unread post by _.jaasp._ »

hihi everyone!!

so my boyfriend invited me to his place tomorrow night and he he might be ready to go further together! for context, he's asexual so we've never had sex together but he is still interested in maybe having sex w me! as far as i know, he's a virgin, and i definitely am not. ive also never had sex with a longterm partner. i am used to mostly hookups with friends and others where its just a one night sort of situation. i usually dont prepare at all for these times because i dont really care how people see me if theyre just my friends, you know? but i kinda care about my image towards boyfie more and i was wondering theres anything people normally do to prepare to have sex with their partners? shave? shower??? what else? im just gonna bring my vibe and some lube to his house, and we can use them on each other (only if he wants) cause i know he doesnt have toys and he might be hesitant since its his first time. i wanna know what else i should do to be prepared. anyone is welcome to answer with ideas!
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Re: how to prepare for sex with a longterm partner??

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi _.jaasp._ ,

So, my biggest piece of advice here is to, if you haven't already done so, talk with your boyfriend about what you're each hoping for, interested in trying, and want to avoid during sex. That can help you both feel more prepared and informed going into the interaction, and communication is one of the main things that helps create a positive, sexual experience. If you need some help with those conversations, these two articles are great tools: Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner, Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

In terms of physical or hygiene things, how you prepare is entirely up to you, based on what would help you feel comfortable and confident. I do think it's also worth reflecting on what about this feels like it requires more preparation than hooking up with friends did; that may help you see if their are expectations you're carrying into this, or places you might be putting undue pressure on yourself.
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