OCD issue? Not sure.

[dpaddict12]

So I've been dealing with this issue for several years now, since high school. I have a severe issue and I know it's psychological, and I'm wondering if anyone here has heard of this or has maybe even dealt with it. I've seen a few counsellors and am working on getting started with another one. Basically, anytime any man (and sometimes girls) gets close to me I instantly get aroused and compulsively lean into them or against them. It's like I can't not act on my feelings. And even when I don't do anything, I still get the aroused feeling and if we're in such close quarters that they end up touching me (like on a subway or elevator, for instance) I will convince myself I leaned into them because it is usually upsetting to me. Yet, I am doing it either for sexual attention or because it gives me some instant gratification of arousal. I recently lost a really good relationship because of my inability to get a grip on this. I can't seem to just stay still or not feel sexual things when people get close to me. Sometimes I will completely lean into someone if I think they won't notice and I worry if they were to notice and reciprocate that attention that I could get an STD through my clothes or on the outside of my clothes that I would touch later. Or that they might try to be sexually aggressive. There's a lot of factors that make the whole issue really scary, because right now I don't know how I will ever find love or get married with this compulsion/impulse. It makes me really sad and I don't know what to do. Has anyone heard of this or gets these kinds of feelings? It's literally unavoidable, the feeling is incredibly overwhelming.

[Sam W]

Hi dpaddict,

I'm sorry you've been dealing with this. I will say that this is one of those things that a therapist could help you untangle, especially since it sounds like it's causing you a lot of distress. (I can't say if it's OCD, since I am not a psychologist, although it does sound you like you feel as though these actions and thoughts are kind of out of your control) Have you spoken to a counselor or similar about this? If not, would you like help figuring out where to find one?