Hi Snowflake_Gal, It might be a little easier to have those conversations if you come at them from a positive end. It's not a bad thing to *not* want to engage in different sexual activities; rather, it's actually very good and empowering to recognize what you do and don't want to do, and to be able...

Hi spidertrans, horriblegoose made some great points, and I want to add my voice to celebrate you for listening to this person and respecting their wishes! It sounds like you did a really great job of respecting where she was at, and you should feel proud of yourself for listening to her and not pre...

That sounds challenging potatochipeater. Don't forget that you have agency, even in the doctor's office. You can reiterate to them that due to the frequent urination you have some concerns about this, and you NEED them to ensure that they don't make you wait any longer than the 30 minutes. I'm rooti...

Hi BuddyBoi21, I understand your concern. It does sound possible that your feeling that you are using autism as an "excuse" could be a result of some internalized ableism. I like this article, Sex on the Brain: Sex and Autism, Mental Illness, and Other Cognitive Diversity because it points...

I didn't really realize how fun this could be, for so long I thought I was just broken, that I'd never be able to and I mean.. it feels good in more ways than one knowing I'm making progress with my body and that they don't have control over my body anymore. It's kind of crazy to me and I'm so happ...

Hi BuddyBoi21, That reframing doesn't sound bad or problematic at all to me. On the contrary, it sounds very healthy. When we're children, we often are never taught what kinds of behaviors are appropriate, or are flat-out taught wrong things - so extending yourself that compassion and understanding ...

Thanks for the advice! I already tried meditation a couple of times, but I never really got to the point where I really felt connected with my body. In this situation I often thought something like „this is pointless, I feel nothing“, because it never seemed to work. Maybe because I tried to force ...

I'm going to be honest and say I've viewed porn looking at this and never saw anything on the actors such as that but also know porn is unrealistic and that a lot of times the people in them have "ideal" bodies, vulvas and penises. You are so right that porn is unrealistic! It doesn't sho...

Hi BuddyBoi21, Forgiving ourselves and offering self-compassion can be really difficult sometimes. Is this something you've talked about with your therapist? Have they given you any suggestions for how to be more gentle with yourself? It's important to recognize that trauma really messes with our br...

The first time we did it, it took an embarrassing amount of time and trying about four different positions to actually get him inside me. Heather's already mentioned this, but I want to reinforce that however you are is just *good.* If you need an HOUR of foreplay (which, by the way, can be just as...

Hey Everglow, Congratulations! It sounds like you had a very positive experience! I'm so glad that some of those difficult feelings and associations that you were concerned about didn't make an appearance during sex. Feeling powerful and in control is a great way to feel. It's normal to take some ti...

Hi 0PT1M15T1C, I've just caught up on your posts and I'm so sorry you have had to face such traumatic experiences. And I'm also really impressed by all the work you're doing to heal from this! Your experience, and all you have done to face it, reminds me of an essay called Trauma Is Not Your Fault, ...

Sam is right - it's okay to keep taking them, and it'd be best to chat with your doctor before you make any changes. If you're concerned about potential risk until then, you can rest at ease as it's highly unlikely that a few months on the pill would do anything to you in the long term.

Hi BuddyBoi21, Just want to pop in and applaud you, because it sounds like you've really reflected on what it is you want, and are proceeding with bravery, openness, and kindness toward yourself as you navigate this exciting (and maybe frustrating) new situation. :) How are you feeling about the fou...

HI Lostand_found,

I'm glad horriblegoose's suggestions were helpful! Mindfulness is definitely a great practice that can help with all sorts of feelings.

Is there anything else you'd like to chat about and/or other ways we can support you?

Hi apronepisces, Just so I understand - you both suggested it, but didn't make a solid plan yet? is that right? If that's the case, this might be a time to bring it up again and suggest a specific day/time or event. Maybe you could say "hey, want to grab lunch on Tuesday at 12?" What do yo...

I'll just see what happens and try and keep the "easy" part out of me head, maybe i'll make curiosity my big word instead. Maybe try something under the clothing? LOL! Yes! Only you get to decide what you want to do, when to do it, and what speed is right (with your partner's consent, of ...

Hi Juliaho90, Thanks for your question! Yes, your grandmother does count as part of your family history. I would give your doctor a call and let them know that you remembered something else you'd like to add to your record so that they know that your grandmother had breast cancer. Ultimately, this i...

Hey Sky,

I'm so glad you went to see her! That's awesome. Will you see her again this week?

Me and my sister had a long few talks and i had an epiphany, I've never been skinny or anything in my life, so after some long thoughts, i thought that if i could lose weight, i could try being a guy and seeing if the dysphoria goes away, but if it doesn't get better I'm going to do what'll make me...

Hi Thea, That sounds like a beautiful future, and I just know it is 100% possible for you to have it! Right now it might seem far away, but trust that you will have space to make that future come true soon. There are a great many people who will see you for who you really are and love you for it. I'...

Hi iced_Coffee,

Ooh, good luck on your exams! Hope everything goes well, and we're here whenever you have a moment to ask more questions.

Hi Everglow, You mentioned learning to scream up above. I wonder whether being outspoken about how these men are harassing you (if you feel it is safe to do so, wherever you may be) would feel empowering to you. Sexual abuse isn't just about touching someone, it's about power - about getting away wi...

Hi infinitynbeyond, This is definitely a concern that a lot of prospective parents have! It's a bit of a stereotype that couples' sex lives go downhill after they have children, and there's probably also some truth to it, too - mostly because having kids is a huge life change for couples. You have a...

Hi Everglow, I'm glad you were able to read the article! Hopefully it helps to show that this is a super common thing. We don't get enough representation of vulvas and labia to really understand just how diverse they are, so I understand why you might be feeling that they look strange. One of my fav...