I don’t wanna go to my appointment tomorrow, I’m embarrassed. “Yeah hey I think I have a uti from a one night stand after I waited until forever to have a connection with someone to forcing myself to be w a guy so I wasn’t gay also I think I have vaginismus because I can’t put anything up there with...

Heather make it better I wish you could make it better. I wish I could stop hurting so bad. I genuinely can’t handle a life where I like women

I just don’t understand why I’m not good enough for him to want me again. I must have sucked at making out or something

Oh wow I didn’t know they could get one too! Thanks for telling me that I’ll definitely wait and yes I see my gynecologist on Monday for it and to potentially get on birth control so I can have more safety if I decided to hookup with a guy again. I’m gonna watch one of my favorite movies right now a...

Yeah, I’ve been trying to distract myself but I keep going back and trying to find someone new to hookup with :( I know it was only once but I became obsessed with the satisfaction of being wanted. He was so happy to see me naked, he was so nice about my body, he even kissed my self harm scars. Like...

Thanks Elise. I understand you it’s just hard to like take into consideration. I wanna hookup again with him so badly just to feel something. I just wanna feel something other then sadness and self hatred

He text me

Honestly, I’m just gonna jump in the live chat tomorrow and talk to whoever is there about all this because I have so many questions and feelings that I need to get out in a safe environment

You’re not overstepping but I don’t understand why you all say that? Is it because I spiraled after or because I forced myself or what?

I just got home from therapy. I think I quit. I’m so tired of the never ending cycles that never get better. I’m done trying. I’m done trying with everything. Tonight was so rough and I’m just about done with it all.

Also, no I just laughed it off. She also told me I’m a stupid hoe today <3 she’s a really good friend to me

I got some over the counter uti relief pills and started taking them today I think he stopped talking to me anyways because I have too much baggage so oh well!

Also, it’s been hurting down there and it hurts to pee… should I be concerned?

I was talking to my friend and I said you know I’m not gonna feel guilty everyone does what I did and she said “not with a random guy from online but yeah I guess” now I feel like I’m being slut shamed wonderful!

Sofi you’re so sweet to me thank you so much. I’m sorry I said such bad things I didn’t mean to cause harm I’m just explaining my way of thinking because I don’t really have anyone until therapy tomorrow. We’re talking again and he’s so nice to me. He was like don’t rush anything you made a big step...

You know, my grandparents helped raise me and my grandma as much as I love her, raised all us women that we shouldn’t want sex but we needed to have it with our husband after we got married. (She’s religious) it really fucked me up. It was damaging to hear as a kid and as an adult too. She was alway...

I’m sorry. I’ll talk to my therapist about it tomorrow I’ll try hard too

I thought he liked me LMAO. I’m just a piece of ass

I don’t wanna talk about it. It was wrong and I don’t ever wanna talk about it again. But I do wanna do it again. I’m just so confused.

What I did it isn’t normal and I’m sorry for always bothering you guys. I’m spiraling really bad

I’m gonna block him and not act sexually again. Ever. I don’t need it again. I regret it and I just want to forget it ever happened. I hate that I did any of it.

How soon is to soon to have another partner?

Well…. Some shit happened tonight and I’m definitely bisexual and I’m definitely not asexual. Lol

I’ll jump in chat when it’s live again

Yeah I’m sorry. I just feel like the only time I actually feel anything is when I’m high so I spill my guts but I’ll stop for you of course, I’m very sorry <3 I talked to ruby today and they helped me so incredibly much. I’ve never felt so understood before. They pointed something out to me that I n...