Hi melanie420, That’s frustrating, I’m sorry! It’s so hard to just “make yourself aroused” when you’re just not, even if you really want to be! It’s especially hard when we start to feel any expectations about how we “should” be feeling during sex. Hmm, I’m trying to think of some new ideas… Let me ...

Hey, Beginning to masturbate because of curiosity is a very common way that people begin to explore their sexuality, and it’s okay to want to continue masturbating! How much we desire to masturbate is often out of our control, and there are many biological factors that drive our desire for masturbat...

Hi there, Do you mind sharing a bit more about what you mean by “tears in your eyes” and the feeling of panic? Do the tears feel more like an involuntary physical response or more similar to an emotional response? Being fingered, and having sex in general, can be intense both physically and emotiona...

Hi BuddyBoi21, I think it’s okay to label your desire to incorporate physical intimacy into your relationships however you want to - if it feels restrictive to call sex or physical intimacy a “need”, then it’s okay to use whatever language feels most applicable to you. The most important thing is th...

Wow, it’s really true that so often people don’t know that they deserve boundaries! I also am going to try to take your lead, Theansweris42, and try to recognize when other people do a good job setting boundaries - it’s good to learn from others :) I live in a house with five other people, so I’m le...

Ahhh I love that mantra so much!! Yes, hype yourself up!! (It's also okay that you have moments when it's more difficult to do this, as long as you can keep coming back to it eventually )

Hi a369, What you are describing sounds very much like what many people with breasts experience! Areolas and nipples change over time quite a bit, especially when we go through puberty and they grow. There is a lot of variation on the size and shape and color of the areola and nipple between differe...

Hi Rubix, I’m sorry you are struggling to find pleasure in masturbation. But I 1000% agree with Sam and Elise - I want you to be able to decouple your feelings of frustration from the idea that you are a “sexual failure”. You are clearly dedicating so much effort to find self pleasure again and feel...

Hi Rubix, That’s wonderful news about your therapist, and having a space to brainstorm relearning sexual pleasure! I love the mindset of removing orgasm as a goal from masturbation, and instead focusing on pleasure. I’m sorry you’re experiencing barriers to connecting with other trans folks in real ...

I agree with Siân that it likely isn't too much to be concerned about, especially if your period wasn't extremely regular before! It sounds like a good plan to wait a bit to see if anything changes, and to get in touch with your doctor if it starts to impact your life significantly (abnormal pain or...

Hi Raffles, This all sounds like a super frustrating situation! It’s so irritating when someone presents as an ally with GSA shirts and apologies, but isn’t putting in the actual work to be an ally - it feels like they already believe they are doing all the right things, so don’t have to keep learni...

Hi lycheefan,
Because of the drop in hormone levels during the placebo week, it is common for people to experience a withdrawal bleed - this could explain the cramping and spotting! (Of course, if the cramping becomes very severe, it would be a good idea to contact your doctor)

I'm so glad to hear that Scarleteen has been helpful, and that you have the space to have these discussions with this person now! This thread is always open if you come up with more questions

Hi waterhyacinth! Did you have a chance to look at the article Sian sent? Age gaps in a relationship don’t inherently have to mean that the relationship is inappropriate. But secrecy, being underage at the start of the relationship, and imbalances in power are concerning. You also mentioned that “he...

Hi shovel, If it helps to hear, you are not alone - many people have questions about how to find their clitoris or whether their vulva is “normal”. Vulvas are all so unique that there’s really no such thing as normal! (If you are interested, this article shows *some* of the variety possible in vulva...

Hi Irissy, You are definitely not alone! Many people find it difficult or uncomfortable to insert anything into their vagina, or describe their vagina as very “tight”. For a longer response to your post, someone else asked a very similar question in this advice column. Here is a quick summary: It is...

Hi bessie09, welcome to the boards! I’m sorry you have been struggling with feelings of panic and anxiety after orgasm, that sounds really difficult. You mentioned that this feeling has been happening in recent months - did you experience this at all before, or can you think of anything in your life...

Hi Strangerdanger, The short answer is, no you are NOT being dramatic! And I’m sorry you are dealing with this. From this article , “It is sexual assault ANY time one person does not want to be engaging in any kind of sex and another person does it to them anyway without their consent and against th...

It could be that just starting out with a thoughtful and open conversation about sex, without any expectations that it will lead to sex in the near future, could be a good place to start to better understand some of your anxieties. “I think I would just confront him directly, and tell him everything...

Hi confusedperson, It is true that consent has to be enthusiastic from all people engaged, regardless of (and often we should be especially cognizant of) gender and age differences, and coercion is never okay. It sounds like now you have a better understanding of why it’s not okay to keep asking som...

Hi theatreluvin, That makes sense! Like Sam said, there’s no specific length of time that’s “right” to say I love you for the first time. If you feel comfortable with it and want to say it, that’s okay! But I don’t believe that there is a “too late and miss my chance” situation! If you decide to say...

Hi Len.123! You mentioned that because you have not had sex with your boyfriend yet, it’s a “big problem”. There should never be a rush to have sex if it doesn’t feel right to you. When you say that you don’t understand “why he is still around”, maybe it would be helpful to think about all the amazi...

Hi Guacamole, I’m sorry it’s been so uncomfortable! Have you tried using lube during penetration? Were you able to talk to your gynecologist about the discomfort you feel inserting a tampon and diva cup? I also want to check in - do you feel like sexual pleasure is something you actively want to pur...

Hi idk anymore,
I’m glad you’re still able to see a therapist. What kind of things do you find most helpful to talk about with your therapist? Is there a reason you don’t feel comfortable talking about the way you are feeling and struggling to move on?

Hi iloveeveryone, Oof that sounds difficult, I’m sorry! Two thoughts come to mind, but let me know if you’ve tried them. 1) Make sure the cup is the right size, or perhaps using a longer-stemmed cup could be helpful. 2) You can also try different folds of the cup while inserting it to see if the way...